Elf Day 1

Yesterday Schnitzel, the Jewish Christmas elf, was born. Tragically, due to general awkwardness and confused handlings of children, after about an hour of working on her own, Schnitzel was removed from responsible duties and instructed to shadow a more competent elf. Schnitzel might be incompetent. Perhaps Schnitzel should stop asking disoriented thugs and annoyed shoppers if they want to sit on Santa's "warm and willing" lap. Perhaps Schnitzel should stop doing pelvic thrusts in elf costume in the break room mirror.

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After completing our elfin duties for the trial run yesterday we were instructed to go to the 16th floor for an awards ceremony. The ceremony began with the event coordinator of Macy's (who only wears a black cowboy suit - think Tommy Lee Jones) regaling us with tales of REAL Christmas miracles like how as Santa he once got a little girls parents back together and once brought hope to a crippled child that everyone had given up on by reminding her that Santa loves her. According to the story, the first word this girl said after 5 years of non-communication was "Santa". The crowd awed. I felt queasy.

At this ceremony I was shocked to learn that at least 80% of the 200 Santaland employees are returning veterans. I was also shocked to learn that most of these veterans take Santaland so seriously that getting an award is a tear-filled moment. After about an hour into this ceremony I felt like I had joined the Scientologists. I was, however, comforted to find one or two other non-veteran elves who also seriously wanted to know what the fuck was going on. I mean it is a seasonal job, not a theatrical production. Moreover, this is not the end of the season, IT HASN'T EVEN BEGUN YET and they are already giving out awards.

These people take this shit seriously.

I was given a certificate acknowledging my elfin spirit and giving me justification to maintain my elfin spirit throughout all seasons. I feel changed as a person.

If you have heard of Santa Santa in Holidays on Ice - this man is still here. This is the Santa that is in the Thanksgiving parade. He has been doing it for 25 years and he is known for overworking his elves by looking at them in front of customers and saying, "why don't you sing us a song little elf?" To this request, no is not an option. He doesn't actually have a name as far as I know. The beard is real. Being Santa IS his career. He is probably crazy. I wonder what he will do if I come in smelling like beer.

I HAVE A JOB!

I have been back in America for exactly 7 days and on day 5 I had guaranteed employment; by days 6 and 7 I was actually making money. Who says the economy is in a slump?

Well, ok...I had to lower my standards a bit. But I can take back the suit the temp agency suggested I buy and I don't have to wear professional clothes at all (or even dignity!

All I really need is an enema of Christmas joy and a shiny Christmas smile because I officially start tomorrow as a Christmas elf at Macy's!

Some of you may think that this position seems familiar, maybe you have read David Sedaris' Christmas on Ice - and if so, yes this is the exact same job at the exact same Macy's where I will be performing my elfin duties. It is also the same Macy's on 34th and 7th avenue where Miracle on 34th Street was filmed. It is apparently the largest store in the world and I have been told during our intensive elfin crowd control course that on a given busy day as many as 300,000 people may grace its gilded doorstep. Out of those as many as 25-30,000 may want to wipe their grubby little asses all over Santa's lap. To accommodate this writhing mass of humanity Macy's chooses to outdo all other department stores by remaining open 24 hours a day for the last 3 days before Christmas.

In our operation there are 10 Santas but only 6 at most work at one time. At least 2 of them are black. Sometimes people ask for a "chocolate santa". I like to think chocolate Santa has a soft marshmellowy middle.

Elfin duties include: making sure that lines are always moving, ensuring that people don't kill each other out of their sheer mass, warning customers that no matter how long the line is they may not leave and comeback to their place in line even if a bladder pops, also warning customers that if families become separated that they may not be reunited EVER, maintaining the illusion that a 1.5 to 2 hour line is something to be happy about as "every step ahead in line is a step closer to Santa!", informing children who poke at delicate displays that "Santa sees EVERYTHING", preventing children from realizing that in the village 6 Santas work in 6 separate Santa shacks at the same time, and just generally being revoltingly cheerful.

We get to choose our own elfin names. Most names are something like Dancer, Sparkles, Lollypop, or Snowball. In my elfin manual there are many to choose from; however, it suggests that you are permitted to make up your own name as well. I consider this to be a very important decision and I ask your help in choosing an elf name that describes me as a person particularly since my introduction to people will come from me approaching them by jumping in front of them, jazz hands extended, and screaming my name like a retard on prozac. Feel free to make suggestions. Here are some names that I am currently considering:

Shnitzel - I feel that it is important to be religiously inclusive
Easy
Sternness - because it is important to remember that Christmas isn't all about fun
Nutty McButterTits
Phatness
Slumpy McCraperson
Simple
Awkward
Bleedng
Spastic
Chronic Depression
Syphylis
Butt Muffin
Accidents Happen - especially to bad children and reindeer
Rudolph's fluffer - how did you think that sleigh got up there?
Plumpy
Sadness

I take my elf name very seriously.

In case you are envisioning some sort of sexy cheap halloween elf costume, I should clarify that our costumes actually resemble a sack of festive Christmas potatoes. I was warned over the phone that this isn't a job you take if you are intent upon looking attractive. I thought that that meant they would just be ugly, but the blouse is actually larger than tents that I have slept in.

I have to sleep soon since I have to be at Macy's by nine to elf up. Tomorrow I will see CHILDREN.

New York City is My New Home

First before I go on about NYC, here is an entry that I wrote in the Doha, Qatar airport on the way home - they lied about their functional wireless internet - otherwise this would have been posted much earlier. Entry follows:

November 16, 2008
Doha, Qatar Airport

I once said that Qatar Airways was the best airline in the world. I recant. I expected to be sleeping in a cold and lonely corner of an airport on the way here, but the swank ass hotel and free buffet that they gave me on my way to Nairobi were so good that my expectations were set high for my return and this is what i get: a cold small room - hurricane evacuee style - filled with 60 grumpy sleepy people physically tied to their belongings in the corner in an airport. Perhaps I should express gratitude for the previous perks I received instead of grumbling, but really I would prefer to grumble. They do have a children's play set here that I might camp in later though. In response to this disappointment I am giving serious consideration to showering in their toilet with their fancy shower head ass washer. Once I lock the stall door I fail to see what they can do to stop me. And any objections to my behavior could thoroughly justify me shouting, "I will not come out until my orifices sparkle or my flight is leaving assholes!"

Anyway, getting on to talking about Africa and giving some closure to my trip. I am sad to be leaving Tanzania, but I am comforted by the fact that I am not going home right now - the adventure continues, I am starting a new life in NYC. There are challenges - for instance, I only have $400 dollars left. It has to be an adventure - if I don't take the first job I am offered I might starve. Somehow I find this invigorating instead of terrifying - but then again I am kind of a masochist. I am excited about suffering. I am starting out on my own with no job and I am determined to make it work. It will be cold as shit, New York is bloody expensive - it will be awesome. I like a challenge and I look forward to it.

As far as my departure goes, I love Africa. I have to come back, I want to see it all. The people are so welcoming - it has been a hard but wonderful experience that I would not trade for anything (except for maybe the food poisoning - I could have done without that). The things that I liked most were teaching English to adults and doing HIV/AIDS education. When I wasn't doing those things effectively I felt lost. It is really important to me that I do something that effects people's lives in a positive way and the job I did in Arusha filled that nicely. I would be happy to do this sort of work again in NYC or elsewhere. (especially the aids education - I have never felt so needed and useful)

I don't know what this experience means for the next job that I will pursue or the degree program that I should seek out yet - I have had love affairs with a wide variety of job possibilities including and going beyond TEFL and AIDS education. I have thought about journalism and microfinance and international relations and NGO management and studying public health.....the list goes on. I have thought of teaching refugees and immigrants in NYC (if it is even possible to get a job doing that). I have thought of just trying to intern at a major newspaper doing bitch work to see if I like it. I have thought about freelancing in NYC on the side to see if I can get published - maybe doing some write ups on things I learned in Africa teaching. I have SO MANY IDEAS that the thought of one direction seems impossible. The weight of possibility seems oppressive. I hope that New York will help me narrow these options. The best possibility right now seems to be AIDS education so after I take a shitty job to keep from starving I may try my hand at something related to that. I hear that a degree in Public Health might help me achieve something on a larger scale in relation to sexual health education so I want to look further into that too.

THE GOOD AND THE BAD

Things I will miss about Tanzania include: more than anything my students, fresh fruit and infinite avacado, people being really excited that I speak enough swahili to communicate like a retard, the backpacker and volunteer community - everywhere you go you are never alone and you can have deep insightful conversations with people whose names you don't know and who you will never see again, animals everywhere, people constantly telling me to "be free", children running up and chanting "mzungu mzungu how are you?", the faint sound of the evening call to prayer, never having to worry about time or be in a hurry, having retarded adventures, bargaining for the price of a taxi before accepting as opposed to a meter, being able to buy a live chicken and carry it everywhere, feeling like it is reasonably acceptable to pee by the side of the road, being able to buy prescription strength drugs over the counter, 2$ bottles of vodka, Stony Tangawizi, Tusker beer, chapati, absurd dallas dallas rides with 33 people in a 12 person van and music blaring, awesome African music, people who are not judgmental, khangas, people carrying things on their heads, ridiculous bicycle loads, cows in the street

Things I will not miss about Tanzania: not being able to drink straight tap water, wondering if eating fresh veggies will give me worms, men constantly harassing me on the street, not being able to go running without being chased, being told that I should already be married with children, knowing that I am constantly getting screwed on prices because I am white, knowing that serious medical attention will always require an air lift, taking anti-malarials and sleeping under a mosquito net, not having control over what I eat, limited communication with friends, wondering what there is to do after 6:30 at night, not being able to walk alone at night, never being able to get coffee when I want it, not being able to swing dance, deet insect repellent in my eyes and mouth, fried everything, crossing the street

(I should note that shortly after composing this entry I came to realize why I had to sleep in the airport: The Hajj. Yes, that's right, I had to sleep in an airport on a country on the border of Saudi Arabia because this is a convenient stop over in the pilgrimage to Mecca. I guess that is a decent reason.)



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November 21, 2008

Things that I have done since getting back stateside 4 days ago:
Marveled at the awesomeness of drinking tap water, eaten bagels, wondered what it will take to survive in NYC, looked desperately for jobs, taken a moment to appreciate the internet, slept irregularly, poo-ed too regularly, interviewed at a temp agency, looked at my bank account, worried excessively, put on and took off all of the clothes Alisha has available (underwear included!).

That is just a brief summary, but you get the idea. My interview with the temp agency went remarkably well; however, they said that I would probably have work today and yet here I am still in Peter's apartment writing away so obviously that hasn't happened yet. It is promising though because they have lots of international non-profit work and they really liked my resume and seemed impressed by the fact that I got back from Africa 3 days ago and am already looking for work.

That doesn't change the fact that I want work today. I wonder if there is any place you can go in the city for simple day labor... I wonder if there are any Thanksgiving gigs that I can work - I am willing to dress as a turkey. I could just rent a turkey costume, stand on the street, and ask to be let into the EU on this historic holiday. (note to self: be attentive to nearby immigrant populations to avoid potential international incident or stoning.)

Well, if all else fails I have also found a gym that will give me a 2 week trial membership so that should at least help combat the jet lag. Jet lag, by the way, made me feel like a retarded child doing calculus when I was doing the computer competency exam at the temp agency. It was like failing the dyslexia test all over again - fortunately though this test wasn't timed so I prevailed by spending an excessive 45 minutes to an hour on the 30 question Excel and Outlook section marveling at the fact that pushing buttons makes letters appear on the screen. The guy next to me who couldn't speak properly finished WAY before me. I felt like a rock star (one who can't read good). Somehow in spite of all this I maintain that the interview still went remarkably well, but maybe this is disillusionment.

So that is how it is going on the job search front. In the living situation department I am currently crashing on Peter's couch. Tragically, Alisha IS STILL in Austin dealing with family shit so Peter and I are becoming acquainted as temporary roommates. I believe his introduction to this system occurred when I arrived and immediately began rummaging through Alisha's underwear drawer looking for any bra that pretends to fit that might not smell like burning assholes. (We share EVERYTHING). I have notified Alisha that as long as she is not here I am going to eat all of her food and wear all of her nicest clothes in consolation for her absence. The end result is that due to our "stylistic differences" I almost went to a job interview looking like I was prepared to work the Renaissance Festival.

Don't drink the water

WARNING: GRAPHIC SCATOLOGICAL CONTENT

The verdict is in, there was contaminated water in the juice we were drinking at the hostel. I have made the mistake of assuming that hostels and hotels typically would make juice with boiled or purified water since they deal with tourists. This is 100% not always correct. The result is a perpetual purgatory of the the intestinal tract whose anguish knows no bounds. Details to follow:

I am back in Arusha and I am staying with other volunteers and a different host mother because the Shettos have relatives visiting. This was my first night staying there. I had to shit real bad last night and realized that the host mother that I am staying with locks the door to the house at night and that means since i live in a shack out back I cannot shit in a civilized manner. Note, my bowels are still in the throws of a parasitic rebellion and the amount of air and swelling in my stomach is feigning a pregnancy.

So I wandered around a little seeking a place to hide my orange orange poo (WHY IS IT ORANGE??), got scared by the cow and chickens a few times, and eventually settled for the trash heap where concealing it would be reasonably achievable. I then proceeded to splatter paint the mound in a manner that would have provoked pride in Van Gough, made a pathetic attempt to conceal my shame, and went back to sleep.

The moral of the story? Don't ever drink anything unless you KNOW where it comes from. Or alternatively, bring lots of toilet paper and maybe a bucket.

I have considered submitting the following letter regarding my travel arrangements:

Dear Qatar Airways,
I humbly apologize for the havoc that I will wreak upon your noble vessel. For ultimate customer satisfaction on our upcoming voyage, please place me in a sound-proof room with ample plumbing and (preferably) a few cushions. I say this not for myself, but for rest of the passengers. Also, please feed me nothing but bread.
Thank you for your consideration, I will try not to stain your cushions.

Coming home November 16th arriving November 17th

As I am running out of money and moving to one of the most expensive cities in the US, I am keeping my ticket and will be arriving in NYC around 4 pm November 17th if all goes well.

I am back in Arusha now so the Arusha number is the one that works.

I am still a little sick but better. Giardia is a serious possibility. Fortunately, I don't it requires treatment and can just get better on its own.

Please let me know if you know of cheap temporary housing in NYC or jobs. I will need both really soon.

OBAMA!

I would like to say something profound about how excited and happy I am that Obama won, but the hangover is still lurking with a vengence. So all I can really say is, THANK GOD.

On the night of the election which given the 9 hour time difference essentially began at 3am my time we all got up and went to a hotel to watch the election returns. When it looked assured that Obama would be announced winner we went to the Kenyatta International Conference Center where celebrations were rumored to take place and apparently a video of us all dancing when Obama's presidency was announced made it to CNN. Let me know if you see this...I am still looking for the clip.

It was an amazing experience to watch Obama's acceptance speech with the Kenyans and look around and see that everyone American and Kenyan alike had tears in their eyes.

After the speeches we went and celebrated with champaign in a closed restaurant that was opened up to us just because we are americans and celebrating Obama. (Well, mostly americans. Actually our posse included one brit and one aussie who were both more committed to the election than many americans I know).

I recommend you look up the Barack Obama song - reggae style from Kenya. It has been playing non stop here and is hilarious.

Then we slept and woke up and celebrated some more. I am still recovering from this. Jim, the excited Aussie, ended the night by bringing home 3 women who he believed to have attracted through looks and attitude alone but then was quite surprised when he was told he would have to pay them - they were equally surprised to see his 1 person tent. Eventually, they were forced out by the guard and the hostel owner as prostitues always cause problems and apparently these 3 prostitutes didn't want to share the 6 dollars that Jim had to offer. Amazing.

People here are really excited about Obama. Yesterday was a public holiday. I spent that public holiday lolling on a couch watching our THREE NEWS STATIONS and wondering if all of my agony was brought on by alcohol or whether the probable worms in my guts worsened it, or since I was not the only one who was so violently ill - whether the ice in the drinks had actually contained some giardia or whether the meat that we had consumed earlier wasn't cooked well. Either way, I am so excited, but it HURTS SO BAD. Today is a bit better though. I may be heading back to Arusha tomorrow.

Nairobi again

I left Arusha on Wednesday for Nairobi and have just been hanging out here since then. The people who were interested in going to Uganda with me bailed for now but I may go after the election.

Nairobi is awesome. I really like it here. My first night here I got on a bus with a guy I met at my hostel with no idea where it was going. We ended up in Issley (spelling??) and hung out with some Kenyans in a bar talking politics for several hours and then later were invited into a Somali Duka (store) to hang out chatting until 1am. It was quite the adventure.

Over the weekend I went to Upperhill, where I stayed the first time I was in Nairobi and met with about 8 peace corp volunteers. It was a great time. I had Ethiopian food 2 nights in a row. FANTASTIC and cheap.

I came back to Milimani hostel last night to meet volunteers from Arusha who are coming in for the election. A few of us went out dancing last night. I had an unusual situation occur however when an older African man picked me up from my upper thieghs and began dry humping my legs. An Aussie man saved me from this disconcerting scenario and then the African man promptly whispered in my ear, "It's ok, I'm a Muslim" and showed me his Koran. I have no words for this.

Today some friends and I went on a guided walk through Kibera - Africa's second largest slum. It was remarkable. We got to see schools and see the places where all the election violence occurred a few months ago. we got to talk to people who witnessed it too. It is really interesting and I felt safe the entire time. It isn't typically violent just very poor and lots of white people actually work there for NGOs.

I have met some journalists who just graduated from Northwestern who I may go to Rwanda with. On the return maybe hit up Uganda. I really hope money can hold out.

It has been a long day and it seems high time for a nap. I have to rest up for the election...

Lost my phone...new number

+255 0785457586

If you call internationally remove the 0.

Sex ed class and travel plans

I have changed my flight date to return on November 16th to NYC. I will be leaving Arusha sometime between this Monday and Wednesday to travel in Africa with a few other volunteers. We are currently planning to go to Kampala for about 4 days and then return via Nairobi to watch election returns and maybe see giraffes again. After that (around November 5th or 6th) I will probably be back in Arusha to pick up the excess baggage that I have accumulated, then i think I will go to Tanga for a few days and eventually Dar to fly out on November 16th.

Hooray! This should make it just right so that i don't completely run out of money, BUT I will actually get to travel with friends that I have made here.

I am considering doing white water rafting the Nile in Jinja,Uganda- Anyone know how likely it is that I would die doing that by: 1) parasites or 2)drowning/concussion? I am actually interested to know how dangerous this really is. You go with guides who are like bouncers who rip you out of the water when you might die.

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Sex Ed Class

Today was my last day with the students. I am actually really proud of my impromptu sex ed class. I bought some condoms and did a full on demonstration to show them that condoms don't have holes. I also dealt with some AMAZING misconceptions about HIV. Many of my students believe that HIV was created in a laboratory to kill the african people. Most of them believe that condoms prevent against pregnancy but not HIV. To be fair, african brand condoms are questionable. I can't figure out what they are made of, but it is definitely not latex. I think it might be some generic rubber product which begs the question, do they actually prevent against HIV? They should... Can anyone find me information on the reliability of Salama brand condoms?

One of my students argued tooth and nail with me insisting that HIV cannot be transmitted by semen - only blood. I drew a handy diagram of seminal fluid and went into great detail about how "penis juice, vagina juice, and blood" are the only conductors of HIV. He firmly believed that condoms are just a business that takes advantage of the African people, but I believe that I persuaded him otherwise as well as several others and I might have actually saved some lives.

After class I let them ask me all sorts of questions which ranged from anal and oral sex to bestiality and transmission of HIV from mother to child. I don't know if anyone has ever talked to them this frankly about sex before. But I think it was important that I do it because they know and respect me and they know that I wouldn't lie to them.

It is really hard to listen to them say things over and over, like how HIV cannot be prevented by condoms, or how birth control pills are poison, or how prayer is a form of birth control, or how drinking water after sex prevents pregnancy, or how condoms all have holes, or how condoms are evil, or how prayer can make you well if you have HIV (like test negative again).....but I guess it allows me to address the problem more directly. It does also make me want to bang my head against a wall.

Masha, the teacher I work most with, at lunch noted that I am infinitely better than any other volunteer that he has ever had because I work hard and really care. He also gave me some African cloths to make clothes out of. It was a good day. I will miss my students a lot.

ANOTHER PLAN!

Alright, I might have a ANOTHER TENTATIVE plan, but I am still waiting for STA to get back to me on my flight change. My plan is to leave for Uganda sometime between Monday and Thursday to spend a little time in Kampala and then to journey back via Nairobi for the election. Some people from my volunteer group will probably do this too and that makes it more tempting. Otherwise I might forgo the long bus ride and bum around in Kenya. Later maybe Malawi? But as I have not yet received flight confirmation, I could still be coming back on the 28th. Now you might be asking yourself, "Emily, why is your planning ability so awesome?" and the answer is, "uh...(see the previously belated drunken post for more information on my mad processing skills at the moment)."

So there you have it.

Zanzibar was great. Traveling was great. On the way back from Dar to Arusha I even finally got to hang my white ass out there with the best of them over a ditch next to the busy highway. (Note to self bring kanga for next bus ride). This was actually on my list of things to do, right next to buying a chicken and giving it away and milking a cow. Check, check, and check!

Now I am back and tying up loose ends. My students are bloody awesome. I will really miss them. My last day is Friday at school. I really should get certified for TEFL when I get back. I enjoy teaching adults English. They try so hard. So anyway, working on making plans and checking my e-mail neurotically until STA says I can pay for my date change.

Does anyone know of a TEFL program that might help you get a masters degree for teaching in the states?

Anyway, feel free to experience the following rambling post from a few weeks ago. I should note, I am not as depressed as I was when I decided to belt out that glorious work of art, but it is still difficult going home at night and realizing that there is nothing much to do but write and re-count those malaria pills. Sun down at 6:30, dinner at 8, no company... It gets to you. But I like to think that it is for a greater good.

Ah yes, the delayed drunken post from a few weeks ago...Buckle your seatbelts for an amazing journey into way too much introspection.

Here is a post that I wrote on October 8th. It was delayed because I lost my memory stick for awhile.

As it happens it is now 6:30 and another roommate has departed so here I sit as darkness falls on Arusha and the realization hits me yet again that there isn't jack shit to do in this town at night. I like to believe that such solitude is good for the soul as the greatest masterpieces seem to seep from the tormented pores of depressed and lonely people; however, that doesn't make it more appealing. With or without a roommate though it is difficult to say that there isn't a loneliness to being a foreigner in Africa. To me it isn't the sort of loneliness that makes you long for others as much as it makes you closer to yourself - in that way that wrapping yourself in a blanket of depression might seem so comforting that you might accidentally suffocate yourself with it. You learn a reliance on yourself here. You learn unquestionable self-sufficiency, but also that even in bizarre and lonely circumstances you are never in a vacuum. People are always helpful and they touch your heart, yet they never alleviate the sense that ultimately you are alone in your quest here. Sometimes I wonder if these generalizations have less to do with Africa and more to do with a phase of life. People can keep telling you that you are not alone, but that only serves to prove and reinforce your absolute knowledge that you are in fact quite alone.

God what is it with these deep philosophical inquiries? This is definitely the last time I take to drinking and writing as a suitable solution to excess alone time...if not that thenI promise it is ABSOLUTELY the last time I do it with a bottle of two-dollar vodka. This shit will either blind me or give me magical powers. Cheers! I'm hoping for the latter.

Well, anyway...perhaps we should move from the idly contemplative to the mildly interesting shit about Africa. The other day a girl in a school uniform walking in pace with me said, "Give me money." I said no and we continued on in awkward broken conversation for awhile. I discerned that she was in standard six and probably about 12-14 years of age. She said, "My mother is dead, give me money". I looked hard at her and said, "My mother is dead. Our mothers die in America sometimes too." I don't know why I told her this. I mean, since I last checked my mother was doing fine. I guess I just wanted to show her that it isn't so simple - not all white people have vast resources to scatter among the poor. I felt a bit bad about it later, maybe I should have given her something or atleast told her something honest - I just wanted someone to realize that it isn't that easy. Children always say, "give me money!" Men ask for money to go school. I mean, how can you give money to one person here? That doesn't solve anything. Everyone wants something from you here if you are white, and to be fair my flight over here is probably more money than they see in 6 months if not more, but I don't have enough money to fix all of these problems. And if the don't want money, then they want something else...

Every day men I pass say, "Hey baby, I love you" and (in Swahili) "How are you my fiance?" Sometimes they make kissey noises or offer their phone numbers or propose to me in the street. Sometimes it is ok, other times it is funny, more often it is becoming infuriating. More often it makes me want to look them in the eye and explain to them that I am not their fucking baby, not their fucking cock-tease - that I am here to help them to improve their fucking English so that maybe they could burrow their own way out of poverty. Yes....sometimes I am fussy. When I am really tired, sometimes I want to scream "THIS SORT OF BEHAVIOR IS THE REASON YOUR COUNTRY HAS A PROBLEM WITH AIDS". And to be fair, it is largely true, African male sexuality is viewed in the same light as that of a tornado. It is something that cannot be controlled and if you want to remain unaffected by it the only thing you can do is seek shelter if it gets violent and just generally pray. So anyway, sometimes it gets tiring and I want to be a little more honest. But really, I usually smile and greet them as though they have said nothing offensive at all because it is always best to be diplomatic and to avoid making unnecessary enemies.

In sum, it gets difficult sometimes.

It certainly isn't all bad. Sometimes it just gets to me. But even Masha, the uber-born again Pentacostal is affected by these biases. A few weeks ago we were talking about nuns and he enunciated his firm belief that nuns and priests cannot possibly go through life without having sex. He argues staunchly that nuns and priests live near each other and have gatherings for some holy shagging. I tried to explain that a few scandals do not make an absolute rule, but I suspect that this didn't make much of a dent in his perception.

Apparently in Africa EVERYTHING is about sex. It is something that men cannot go a week without and a reason for female circumcision to prevent women from going outside of the marriage. It is the pulsing life and death force of poverty here and it is as untamed as a bull with freshly agitated testicles. Women are expected to submit to their men's wishes for sex whenever and wherever it is requested; otherwise, they are held responsible for their men's wandering. Men are not held responsible for controlling their sexual desire at all. Women firmly believe that men are the heads of household and they are by God's election superior to women in decision making for the home (see Adam and Eve in Genesis). Girls are less likely to be educated than boys (especially if they are Muslims). The gender issues go on forever. I never have considered myself much of an avid feminist, but christ. Sometimes when we discuss gender issues in class I begin to feel as though I can't breathe.

Well, the two-dollar vodka is wearing off and it is 9:30 at night...a belated dinner awaits.

In Dar again

The great thing about travling alone is that you meet so many other travelers. I hung out wiht a pack of Norwegian girls in Kendwa and a girl from Spain in Stone Town. Soon I will go to bed because I am waking up early to go find a bus to Arusha/Nairobi with an Irish guy whose name I hardly know. Africa unifies travelers more than other places of course because white people stand out and I guess we band together. We always end up talking alot about politics and health care because the American health care system is such shit compared to Europe and England.

Currently I am in Dar again preparing to take the bus to Arusha tomorrow. I wanted to stay longer in Stone Town, but I need to conclude my teaching position in Arusha before I move on. It looks like I can extend my stay here and I think I will stay at least until November 18th, probably until November 30 or December 1. I will pay for this change as soon as STA clears up a question I had. I really want to be back for the election but the more I think about it and the more I travel out of Arusha, I can't go home yet - I need to see more of Africa. I am looking at getting a teaching position in Stone Town, but if that doesn't work out I will just travel - that might be best anyway. I haven't even made it to Tanga yet and I could see Mombasa and maybe even go into Zambia or Malawi.

Beaches and 14 year old boys...

Have you ever wondered what it is like when 2 white girls go swimming in a sexually repressed society with 14 year old boys? Well, the answer is, it is like getting pelted with vienna sausages. At first we thought they were just friendly, then we realized that we had to get out of the water.

I had some concerns it might go this way when as we were walking down the beach I thought to myself, "now where are all the other women?"

I requested a flight change to the 30th of November. I am not sure if it will be possible to change it so late, but we will see. This has nothing to do with an affinity for Vienna sausages.

Stone Town

Well, as luck would have it I was having lunch in a vegetarian restaurant near my hostel and I met a girl who is doing research for her doctorate in medicine in Germany. We had lunch together and she said the guy who runs her volunteer program might be able to help me find volunteer teaching work here in Stone Town. I met with him, sent him my resume, we'll see what happens. I find this an exciting prospect. I don't know exactly what it will cost though so that might be problematic. This excitement is definitely moderated by the fact that I almost gave myself sun stroke yesterday. I don't know if my head is sore because I burned it or from the monkey....

Zanzibar!

After getting to Zanzibar I have changed my mind, I am considering staying in africa a little longer and changing my date of return to Nov. 27th to stay and volunteer here. Not sure yet though. But zanzibar is awesome- really I think the rest of Tanzania is awesome. I am somewhat saddened by the fact that I have spent the last several months in Arusha which is really the armpit of Tanzania. It doesn't feel like Africa there. But now I am really in Africa and it is so much more amazing and the people are great. I haven't made any attempts to change my flight yet, but I am considering it. Will know more tomorrow. Either way I have to go back to Arusha on Sunday, Monday, or Tuesday but I was thinking of coming back to Tanga and Zanzibar for awhile.

This is perhaps the ultimate choice of coming back to reality or deciding to get lost on an island for a little while. Now that I am out of Arusha, Tanzania is so wonderful. I really want to stay and see more and do more. My school was great in Arusha, but the program at the time was essentially nonexistent and I felt horribly isolated most of the time. If I have the choice to stay and maybe seek out something better here I might just do it. Sorry guys that I told I would be home so soon....It might not happen for another month.

I met up with some girls from Norway and have been travelling with them for a few days now in Zanzibar. Currently I am in Kendwa and I am going to Stone Town tomorrow to seek some potential volunteer options or at least a cheap hostel.

Today I got to play with a monkey. It ate 3 bananas and tried to chew on my head.

Sorry for the redundancy and lack of fluid thought, but i am paying excessively for this internet time and it is about out.

Arrived in Dar

Arrived in Dar es Salaam today. Alas, couldn't convince anyone to make the journey with me so I am here by myself. I am hoping to find people on the way. The ride was fairly uneventful with the exception of an entire human leg that was just lying in the street in fairly central Dar. No blood though, just one full adult human leg (I believe it was male). Passers by seemed unimpressed.

Also, you have to love a country that is so serious about tea time that they actually serve you scalding hot tea in a dixie cup while you are bouncing down the highway at well over 70 mph in 90 degree weather. Amazing.

I have gotten to really like the group of volunteers that I am with now. It is tragic that they couldn't have been here earlier. I have briefly toyed with the idea of changing my return date again, but I think that that would be silly as inevitably I need to make some money and I still can't envison being here during the election. Although it would be easier now that there are several people here whose company I enjoy and who are actually willing to go out. But, it isn't like there is constant socialization during the week. While I have really enjoyed having a host family, I don't think I would want to have one again for such a long time. I really would rather live in volunteer housing with all the volunteers. I think that would be much less lonely. I really value community more than just about anything else and since we can't really walk at night in Arusha and since we have dinner retardedly late it is nearly impossible to see people every day and I think that I really need that - otherwise I start to get a little crazy. I think there are some programs in Thailand and elsewhere though where they would pay me to teach adults and they have cooperative housing so that might be promising for the future.

The hostel community here is really hit or miss. I am staying in an actual hotel which makes me sad, I thought they had dorm rooms which yield more meeting of people. Since it is more Muslim here though, dorms may be less common unless they are all female... I will probably head to Zanzibar tomorrow unless I can find some interesting people who have interesting things to do in Dar.

I have almost removed all of my braids. That is the cause which I dedicated my 10 hour bus ride to today. I planned on reading, but just watched out the window undid vast quantities of knotted hair, and listened to music. I really just want to re-emphasize just how fucking awesome Paul Simon is. He is fucking amazing.

I miss dancing. I mean, I can dance here like drunken whore at a carnival thanks to Vlad the 2$ vodka of champions, but I miss skilled dancing... Dancing that doesn't require me to rip yet another foreign man's hand off my gyrating ass every 10 seconds. But really, I will take what I can get... I mean a few nights ago they even played a Cecilia remix in Njiro and if that doesn't quell my desire to dance then nothing will regardless of how my dignity may suffer when videos come out later. This shit could go in National Geographic.

Travel Plans Confirmed

I will leave for zanzibar, dar, and tanga monday to travel for a week and to spend some time with the vervet monkeys, return to Arusha around the 20th or 22nd, take the bus back to dar on the 26th to fly out at 2pm on the 27th (overnight again in doha....hooray for pimp hotels and free food!) arriving at JFK in NYC around 4pm on October 28th. I will probably take a bus to Columbus Ohio on the 29th or 30th with alisha to help campaign for obama. Anyone want to come? Can anyone get me a downloadable video of the debates? It has been a while...maybe the first one is available? It has to be a download though so I can put it on my memory stick and watch it at home. No more than 3.5 gigs ideally....

Debate: All Tanzanian citizens should be legally required to test yearly for HIV/AIDS

Today we debated the topic "All Tanzanian citizens should be legally required to test yearly for HIV/AIDS". I figured that this could successfully pit societal health against potential discrimination with the added benefit of talking more about AIDS. It was probably the best debate that we have had and I have a good portion of it on video. However, nothing had prepared me for the complete and utter shock of having several students openly state that they would never ever get themselves tested and they would rather just spread HIV around since they had it given to them and they don't want to die alone. Most of them don't know about anti-retro-virals and they also don't believe that condoms offer any protection against HIV - they are apparently only to prevent pregnancy and therefore totally useless. Several students also suggested that it is better to not be tested because if you found out that you were HIV positive "you might die of pressure" (anxiety and fear). I almost hemorrhaged, but stifled my horror and gave them a lengthy and persistent lecture afterwards about the value of NOT GIVING OTHER PEOPLE AIDS. I might have also been a bit confrontational using statements like, "So are you afraid to be tested? Ah, I see...so since I have been tested for HIV does that make me more of a man than you?" and "So according to your morality is it ok to murder people?" These methods work surprisingly well here. I just can't explain how overwhelming this can be sometimes though. I guess it is good that they are so open about their ignorance - it makes it easier to teach them, but jesus christ...where do you start?

I have a few more posts coming from last night's dancing adventure, but this is all I can crap out right now.

I anticipate returning to JFK in NYC around 4pm on October 28th - I will be paying for the date change tomorrow morning and that will be my ticket if all goes well. I may be leaving for Zanzibar as early as Sunday.

On poo...

I suppose that the most disconcerting thing about squat toilets is the echo-chamber effect. Given the remarkable irregularities of the bowels from travelling, I have often wondered if the world was exploding beneath me and then it occurs to me that is just this weeks well of excrement splurting forth at recockulous high speeds. give me an irregular diet and I could fuel a rocket launcher.

I like t think that mimicking the sounds of nearby wildlife will mask the shame of my festering bowels, but I think it might just be getting me a bad reputation with the locals. They won't let me play with the goats anymore.

I typed up a glorious two-dollar vodka manifesto last night but unfortunately, due to the absence of my memory stick you will have to wait for that until Saturday.

School etc...

School was a bit better today. I taught all three classes, however many of the low level students just stare at me and then promptly misunderstand the entire exercise. Does anyone know about Teaching English as a Foreign Language in NYC? I was wondering if any programs will give you an MA simultaneously for working for the public. Public schools do it, but I will not work with children. Maybe there is a deal?

I am planning on hitting up Zanzibar soon... maybe Sunday taking a bus to Dar depending on when my flight gets confirmed. I am looking at the 27th, 28th, 29th of October. Have I said that before? Anyway...still waiting on confirmation.

Thoughts on teaching, annoyances, travel plans, and Chickens

Today Samuel (the other teacher I work with) offered such insightful commentary on my life as to note, "Today madam you are not wearing your spectacles." (I haven't worn them for over a month now). Earlier he also said, "Today, madam I think you are not so tired as you were yesterday." me: "I wasn't tired yesterday." Samuel: "No no, I can see it in you from my studies of you here, you are much better today than yesterday." I know that he is well intentioned (he is also VERY naive), but his interest in continually making conversation with me through constantly commenting on my activities and state of being makes me want to wring his neck sometimes. He is constantly saying things like, "today I have seen something new!" in reference to some random thing in my backpack. This really chaps my ass. I should note that Samuel is at least 25 and other teachers and students I work with do not behave this way. It is really just him.

I really like my students, but I think that I would be much happier if the classes were really mine. Today I taught a really good class on past and past continuous tenses for the first class of the day. Then I didn't have my second period class because a few weeks ago they rescheduled that group because they are getting pre-form one students now. (14 year olds preparing for all English instruction in Form one). They don't speak enough English so Masha teaches all of them. Then I discovered that in the week that i was away helping run the volunteer project Masha apparently consolidated the 3rd class and was teaching pre-form ones in the room where my lesson was still waiting on the blackboard form my advanced 3rd class. So in other words, no one told me that the class was essentially canceled and moved in with the intermediates and I wasn't needed to teach the class.

I could have taught from what Samuel had on the board, but teaching someone else's lesson is really difficult when you don't believe that what they are teaching is that important and most of it could be covered in 10 minutes for a 2 hour class. So here I am at the internet. I was quite disappointed really because I don't have much time left before I leave and the one thing that I wanted to successfully do was teach my students tenses. It is their biggest problem and for some reason, Masha keeps teaching them things like the difference between many and much which is easy to learn, but not nearly as essential when they make sentences all the time like, "I going to working now". In other words, we have a vast difference in priorities...

To be fair, I cannot expect them to consider me in everything that they do because for them to rely on unpaid volunteers who come and go for such short intervals would only jeopardize the school because it would be constantly unstable. But given that I have been considering coming home pretty soon for the election it does make clear to me that I am useful, but not critically needed and they will go on without me. The best thing that I can do is connect them with resources in the long run anyway.

2 months here is not a long time, but it has given me the opportunity to do something different and try teaching English as a foreign language. I do like it (as long as I only teach adults) and maybe this will help me find work in NYC or abroad doing the same thing. I will look in to getting TEFL certified in NYC.

Today I requested a return flight to NYC for the 27th, 28th, and 29th of October. My first choice is October 27th. I may be flying in and then the next day busing it to Ohio to help out Obama. But we will see what happens with my flight availability.

In the time that I have left I plan on engaging in project Chicken. This is a project of my creation wherein I will purchase live chickens from the market and give them to random Tanzanians. How much is a live Chicken do you ask? about 6$. And I get to carry a chicken.

I am Jack's burning betrayal

For the past few days I have been going from house to house with Aggrey making sure that all the host families get paid before Aggrey ultimately gets the hatchet. End result: a growing empathy for the vastly ineffective defect in the local organization. However, might I say, he has reasons for being defective as I discerned from the stories he told me when we were walking. Apparently, he went to seminary in Arusha, was moved to Kampala in Uganda, and then did missionary work in the Congo. He liked the Congo just fine apparently (I was like WOW the Congo? People can live there?? Thanks American school system!). Then he told me he was moved to Darfur for 6 months. (HOLY SHIT). He lasted for 2 months and ultimately left seminary as many of his friends died in that time. Now he is here and about to get fired. Anyway... I know he isn't helping the organization, but I feel really bad for him.

Anyway, back to teaching.

Chameleon!

In our rounds to pay the host families, which has gone far better today than I expected, I caught a chameleon. It is awesome and is the highlight of my day. I have it in a white oat container sitting next to me at the internet cafe/restaurant right now. We had a close call earlier when a woman asked me if it was a donation can and reached out for it. When I told her it was a chameleon she screamed. My chameleon is awesome. I will let him go after I get appropriate photo opportunities.... I want a picture of him on my FACE.

What the hell am I doing?

As I mentioned earlier, last week I was hired by IVHQ to work until October 15 to help fix some problems and integrate new volunteers. So here is what I have been doing:
Wednesday:
-ran orientation for new volunteers
-did excessive 10k + walking tour of Arusha for the hard core
-received an awesome new roommate who will only be here for a week - an aussie who lives in Dubai (the more she tells me the more that I don't believe Dubai exists and furthermore am actively shocked that anyone would ever ever want to live there)
Thursday:
This requires more detail. Dealing with Aggrey is kind of like entering into a vacuum of negative information. Words cannot convey the amazing powers of confusion that this man has mastered. I will try to explain what happened.
The objective was to gather together several different orphanage volunteers and take them to their projects on the first day. I think he changed his mind 3 or 4 times on where volunteers were going to be placed without informing me or them before we arrived. He told me he was taking joanne to her orphanage (which was closed due to Ede) so he could show her where it was then we would all meet together to go to another orphanage for 2 other volunteers, then we would take Joanne and one other volunteer to another orphanage just for today that was open on Ede. While he did this I was supposed to go and take the other volunteers to Mwanama where i work because their orphanage is nearby. We were told to wait there for him and he and Joanne would return and then we would deliver other volunteers. He returned without Joanne - apparently he just took her to a totally different place without consulting anyone. Joanne later related to me that he had called the orphanage when they were waiting for the dallas dallas to see if it was ok that he bring her. Then we took the other volunteers to the Nun run orphanage. (this must have also changed since originally they were going to be at an HIV orphanage). I have no idea why things kept changing, but this is really just a sample.... i wont go further with this explanation because you would really have to be there, but ultimately working with Aggrey is like placing your head in a toilet that is filled with chaos and flushing it repeatedly. This is the man that I have to work with to make sure that all the host families are paid. I am going to have a mental abortion.
-Later on in the day I visited with the new organization that will be taking over for LIVE. They seemed pretty decent.
-I attended a volunteer dinner - the first one with all volunteers gotten together since I have been here - awesome, finally a growing sense of community right before I will leave.

I really want to want to stay longer and to not feel a need to be involved in the election, but really I am getting tired and I don't know what would be gained by drawing things out more when I am moving to NYC when I return and could keep some money to travel elsewhere earlier. I have learned a lot since I have been here, but you can't really resurrect a program this late in the game for those who have been here as long as I have. I am invested in helping them fix the program now, but it is really disappointing that it is going to improve through my labors and I will not see any benefit from it.

Friday (today):

-Took 3 girls to their orphanage projects
-I saw a guy carrying a steer's head in a bucket. AWESOME
-went to my teaching project for the first time this week. (it was a holiday week anyway)
-was told by my students that I should never leave and they will be so sad when I leave because I am not replaceable. I really like them. I will be working more next week. It will be hardest to leave my students. I am trying to get someone who can replace me before I go.

My current plans are developing as follows with vast room for flexibility as no flights or buses are booked:
Leave for Zanzibar on October 14th or so (10 hour bus ride of pain plus fairy), somehow go to Tanga and Dar, return to Arusha (another 10 hour awesome ride) on maybe the 23rd or 24th of October to make sure the books have arrived and also retrieve my crap, depart once more for Dar es Salaam to fly back to NYC between the 26th and 29th of October. Go to nearby swing state. Work until it is over.

Meeting

It looks like IVHQ wants to keep me on to assist in some transition efforts between local companies here for the next two weeks, but after that if they don't need anything else I may travel for a bit and then head to NYC possibly in time to do some get out the vote efforts for Obama in nearby swing states. I am longing for political involvement... But you know how it goes, I can't pass up amazing opportunities here so until the return trip is paid for no guarantees. But if McCain wins, how can I live with myself for not having done more??? Ugh!

Keep reading for my post from earlier today if you want in depth insights about my stay thus far.

2 month review

There are reasonably few good things to say about lonelyness and isolation; however, of those few things I think that the reflection and contemplation that they bring are sufficient to justify some occasional suffering. Now that another roommate has left for home I am immersing myself in these thoughtful somewhat boring moments to be constructive. So today I attempt to turn away from the more typical things I do in slow moments (like pushing myself to see how much water I can drink in an hour or counting the number of days that I have been here and counting my malaria tablets to see if they add up correctly and if they don't add up correctly wondering if it is just hot in here or if I have malaria...) and turn towards effectively recollecting my more interesting insights since being in Africa. In short, things here are not always exciting - especially when the other volunteers don't do anything interesting on the weekends (and for some, perhaps in life). But I am learning lots of interesting things and thus I bring you the disorganized hodgepodge that is my 2 month review.

The NGO
Today I met with Aggrey, the director of LIVE (tanz side), to help him fix his orientation packet and everything before the IVHQ director arrives tomorrow. Aggrey isn't the problem specifically, he just happens to have been handed a shit deal post-embezzling asshole. It really doesn't help though that Aggrey's english is not quite there. This results in amazing moments of confusion and miscomunication that never really get resolved. I have been trying to help him though - why not? It is interesting to look inside a failing organization and see what went wrong and in this case most things have. The local staff is unreliable, there is no hierarchy to speak of except for Daniel in NZ and Aggrey in Tanz. When asked to chart out where all the program fees go the answers just lead to more contradiction and confusion. Aggrey's explanation in this instance is actually unlike anything I have ever heard - it is as though you are consumed by a vacuum of negative information. I think this results from poor English skills, the mishandling of money that occurred before he ran the organization, and the fact that he has never met Daniel before. (That is until tomorrow of course). So it will be interesting to see what happens. I meet Daniel tomorrow as well.


The Family
Bibi (grandma) sits alone and just endures life through most days. I feel sad for her. She is really quite nice when we have successful communication. I know she would like to talk to me more, but speaking Swahili can get very tiring so I don't do it enough. Our house girl, Asha, is very sweet. She is only 16 and fasting through Ramadan while she cooks for us every day. Mama is always hasseling her to remember things and do them more correctly. Asha gets yelled at alot. She has trouble remembering because she is illiterate and can't write things down. I got a book to teach her Swahili since Bibi doesn't have anything to do and Asha needs to learn to read/write. I hope that this will make her life easier. Bibi and Asha seem happy with this arrangement.

An interesting note about biases:
It is interesting that Mama would hire a Muslim when she seems to dislike them so much. Perhaps this makes it easier to yell at her. Remember that my host family is very educated and they are far more open-minded than most families here... Mama blames all things about Tanzania that might be considered by a European/American to be uncivilized to be a result of Muslims. She blames pit toilets and lack of toilet paper on the Muslims. It is interesting that she would say this since the church she goes to has pit toilets and no toilet paper as well. Muslim infiltration clearly redid their bathrooms in spite. Most third world countries operate this way regardless of religion probably because running water isn't always prevalent and the cost of toilet paper is more food you can't afford. So why not give yourself a hand... Mama also claims that the only reason people convert to Islam here is because of the pro-Muslim regime in the 1980's in Tanzania. She says that people converted to get government positions and that they burned churches. Some of this is true, but I suspect there is more to the story. The current regime is moderate Christian.

Today she told me a story of 2 Anglicans who converted from Islam right after going on the Hajj. They claim that in the pilgrimage to Mecca they were led into a room with all the other Muslims to pray and they were told to keep their eyes closed and not to look up. These 2 say that they looked up and saw a vision of Jesus and Mary and then converted and confessed all their sins and became Anglican. Mama also cites rumors that she heard when she visited Turkey that the Muslim religion was beginning they were told they had to write their own book to compete with Christianity.

While Mama blames many things on Muslims, Baba blames many things on West Africans, especially Africa's bad reputation as a dangerous and uncivilized place. He believes that West Africans are just generally a ridiculously rough bunch that cause problems everywhere they go. Mama adds that they also over spice their food.

Masha believes that Kenyans can't be trusted since he has had 3 bad Kenyan employees in the past. I mentioned that my host mother is from Kenya and he deflected this generalization from her since she had the good insight to marry a Tanzanian.

Many Tanzanians feel elevated above Kenyans in the wake of the Kenya election violence in February. I can understand why they would value this differentiation since Kenyans and Ugandans are a great threat to Tanzanian jobs because Kenyans and Ugandans are taught in English only beginning in grade 1. This is a huge advantage and causes somewhat of an inferiority complex among Tanzanians.

So, in short, the bad things about Africa are always someone else's creation.

School
I'm sure I have mentioned before that Masha and Samuel are born again Pentacostals... We watch evangelical music videos during lunch so some of the first Swahili that I learned came from the chorus "Unakwenda wapi?", meaning "Where are you going?" Sometimes in the middle of a conversation or just without prompting Masha will exclaim, "Jesus I praise you" - kind of like he has Turrets Syndrome. Other times he will spontaneously burst into song. One day he asked me if I would like to stop work for 2 hours and pray with him. I offered to watch the office for him. I think he was joking... I have great hatred for personal religious interrogations so I ascribe any difference in personal religious preferences to being a Quaker. I knew that this would be successful when he asked me if a Quaker was Christian - I have kept the rout up quite successfully, but I just know one day they will meet a real Quaker and they will be very confused.

Now, to be fair despite the fact that I find this sort of fanaticism quite off putting, it is part of the reason I trust Masha to do things ethically. Many schools and orphanages are corrupted; they embezzle money and steel food and exploit their cause. Masha is genuine and I believe that he will absolutely do what he says he will do. Other volunteers wire money for school fees for certain students each month and he always sees to it that the money goes to the right place.

Random Notes from Today
On my way to the internet cafe a dog followed me for the entirety of my journey. Several people asked about my dog. On my way home I was offered a chance to hold a chameleon. Chameleons are very odd - shifty eyes, hard to trust 'em. Maybe one of my students will bring me a chameleon....

Misc.
They pour kerosene in entryways to our house to keep out the wadudu (insects). It smells like burning assholes.

The other day I looked longingly at a goat's ripe burgeoning udder and contemplated milking it (this is on of my goals while in Africa). Then I realized that it wasn't an udder at all - just some big fat goat nutts. They were ripe like mangoes.

The power goes out randomly.

The hot water heater burned out in the first week that I was here so we use hot water in buckets to bathe. Not inconvenient, but you get an idea about the repair wait time on things here...


And me...
There are so many things that I want to do! I want to take courses in microfinance, sustainable development, journalism, English, foreign relations, and business. I want to be certified to do AIDS/HIV education and teaching English as a foreign language on top of that. What sort of interdisciplinary program would offer all of that? How many years would it take? Is that...possible?

I am currently reading Dune and I would like to cite Frank Herbert as a great source of inspiration because of his brief profile mentioned in the back of the book: "Frank Herbert was...educated at the University of Washington, Seattle. He worked a wide variety of jobs - including TV cameraman, radio commentator, oyster diver, jungle survival instructor, lay analyst, creative writing teacher, reporter and editor of several West Coast newspapers - before becoming a full-time writer." So I guess there isn't any real rush then...I am only 26 after all and I haven't even worked as a jungle survival instructor.

Ng'ombe!

I am meeting with Daniel Radcliff, Director of IVHQ, on Monday at 2:30. He has insinuated that there may be a job for me. We will see what happens. I want him to pay for me to travel.

Deborah left today for England, so it is back to living alone. I quell this lonelyness by spending far too much money on the internet. I really really need to find a way to get the presidential debates in downloadable form. Please let me know if you know where I can get this. I have about 3 gigs of space on my memory stick and I want put the debates on that and then watch them on my OLPC at home.

School is going well, I am working on beating tenses into them so they stop saying things like, "I am go to work" and "I going to school". I need to find some posterboard to make charts in the classroom because we only have one blackboard per class and they are small. Really, I am going to teach them this if it kills me. Dave's mom has sent us books that will arrive sometime in mid October so I am looking forward to that.

My students frequently bring a "photographer" in off the streets to take pictures with me to show their friends. Bibi (grandma) apparently is amazed by the Mzungu (white people) that she is living with. She was shocked to know that we eat the same things that she eats and that we will actually take our dishes into the kitchen when done eating. My Swahili has gotten much better. I am capable of actual conversations. For instance, "Me sheba koma ng'ombe" means "I am full like a cow".

The great thing about having your hair in braids is that you don't have to wash your hair really ever. This might just be a great thing about Africa though.

I do miss home and I covet political involvement. If this job falls through, I might be back in time for the election and in that case I will probably drop stuff off somewhere in NYC and then head to the nearest swing state. I have a sense of political obligation, but if this job looks promising I may have to take it because payment for travel is a great incentive....

Safari and Worms...

The safari was incredible. An elephant wandered through our campsite Saturday night. It was amazing. i was actually really sad to come back. I could go camp on safari forever. Not all Tse Tse flies carry sleeping sickness...hooray! because one bit me. Pictures will be forthcoming...(of the safari, not the fly).

On another note, it is possible that I have intestinal worms and don't know it yet. This was brought to my attention when today Masha mentioned that he had them. He then declared that "all people have worms all over the world" - I looked horrified. I explained that NO....NO ALL PEOPLE DO NOT HAVE WORMS. But this doesnt change the fact that I have lunch with him all the time as it would be inhospitable to refuse the brick shaped corn product of doom that visitors all hate so very much. I like to quell my fears with the knowledge that worms don't live in concrete.

Thanks to all who wished me a happy birthday!

Conversation today

Today I had a conversation with our house girl that went like this:
Asha: ".....kazi?" (which i believe meant, why aren't you at work?"
me: "Hapana kazi leo....uh....schulini mama (hmmm can't say died in swahili) anakwenda Mungu HIV/AIDS. Pole. Schulini leo hapana, lakini Wednesday sawa." (no work today....school mother...went to God. Aids. Sorry (sad?). School today no, but wednesday ok.

Prostitutes, special names, and Zimbabwe

I suppose that the things you never really think about when you depart upon an adventure in a foreign land are the mundane, boring, and routine. There is a lot of that here. I mean what can you really do after 6pm if it is dangerous to go out alone and a lot of the other volunteers are lame?

Today I asked the class what they wanted to debate about and they said prostitution. Prostitution comes up alot here. I don't know how prevalent it really is in Arusha, but my students really fixate on it as a great mystery. The topic they wanted to debate was "Why would someone want to be a prostitute?" I deemed this too simple since I believe that the one word of "poverty" generally sums it up. So we debated, "The government should legalize and regulate prostitution to enforce regular testing of prostitutes and reduce STDs". (yes, this was my own invention) I believe my favorite student response was "One time last month while my neighbor was at nightly prayer his daughter was taken by a lustful man. We had to search all over for her. If prostitution were legal this might not have happened." (This is quite a paraphrase as the original statement took about 10 minutes to convey while I stared at my student dumbfoundedly trying to figure out how prayerhouse and whorehouse could sound so similar, what this had to do with prostitution, and (from the original misinterpretation) why people who went to prayerhouses also went to whorehouses in one long night.

Many of my students have interesting names. Godlisten is the name of one of my male students and while I am sure that this was somehow derived from the most extreme Christian devotion, I can't help but wonder when he came out of the womb if his mother was asking "Why didn't God listen?!", stating "God listened!", or simply hoping that maybe next time God will listen and maybe this will really be here last child. (Sometimes we have talks about how prayer and birth control are very different things). I also have students named Lightness and Chastity, but none really compare with Godlisten. I should also note that Masha's 1 year old son's name is Philanthropy. They call him Philan for short. The intention is nice, but it really does make you groan.

School is canceled tomorrow. The woman who owned the school building Masha rents died of AIDS over the weekend. The funeral is tomorrow in Moshi and the other teachers have to go. Her husband died in 2005 of the same. He cheated on her and brought it back. It is fortunate that she made it so long because one of the 3 children is old enough to take over so they don't have to worry about orphanages or other family having to take them. Most of the AIDS problem seems to come from men going outside of relationships for sex. Women tend to blame this problem on themselves for not satisfying there men sufficiently in a variety of ways. I have to say, the gender issues are beginning to bother me. At first, I was able to sort of suspend my role in the debates and argue both sides better, but I am having difficulty with it now - especially Friday when we debated, "men should discipline their wives like their children." I tell myself that there is no greater progress than improving their ability to talk about these things, but it is hard to watch.

Today the Zimbabwe peace agreement was brokered. I saw Mugabe talking about it on the news. It is amazing to hear him speak and to see how good he sounds when you don't think about what he is actually saying in relation to the immense damage he has done. The best part was when he blamed everything on colonialism. He is still riding that card from the 70's I see. Anything to avoid responsibility.

a delayed post from thursday

Life here is certainly full of its ups and downs. I suspect my roommate is dealing with these more than I am though since there isn't too much optimism in doing medical work here. School is going well for me still. Tuesday I felt like my lesson was quite over their heads, but I think today's lesson compensated for that. They have alot of difficulty dealing with gerunds. Sentences like "I like to listening music" are really common and I am determined to beat these into them. Today's 2 hour class consisted of me teaching them a brief clarifying lesson on gerunds, infinitives, and the usage of to as a preposition followed by an entire hour of me giving them verbs to make sentences with orally while I wrote them on the board and corrected them. I think this method was pretty successful. Learning Swahili helps me teach them English because I am learning the differences in grammatical structure.

I met with Aggrey yesterday after work (the local coordinator of my program) and told him all the problems in his program. There are many. At my suggestion all of the volunteers will meet on Thursday to discuss problems in their placements, host families, etc... I have been really lucky, but there are a lot of problems with the way things are run here. Aggrey found my advice helpful and has said that I can live in the volunteer quarters for free when the program that I have paid for effectively ends on October 1. This means that I can keep teaching for free and stay longer. I will be here when the IVHQ coordinator from New Zealand comes...perhaps they would like to hire me. I also was told about a program in Iringa, Tanzania that I may visit in October for a few days.

Perhaps I say this alot, but since I don't take time to review my writing you will have to deal with repetition and scatteredness. The things I miss most about America are: being able to walk safely at night, being able to control what/how much I am eating, regular exercise. Dear god, what I wouldn't give to never eat Ugali again. I feel my insides being paved with corn-cement. Hopefully, when my placement officially ends and I move to separate volunteer housing I will have more control over these things.

On an unrelated note, my host family mentioned that it has now been 7 years since 9/11. It has been 7 years since my first year of college as well.
My birthday is on the 19th. I will be on safari then petting hippos.

Eleven hours of hair

Deborah and I got our hair braided yesterday. We expected for this to take about 4 hours; however, they started on my hair at about 11:30 and this continued until 10:30 at night. I contemplated running out and chopping my hair off in response to the oppressive boredom which battered my mind. But patience prevailed and now I have the remarkable collection of what is probably the equivalent of three other people's fake heads of hair braided into mine. i think that the woman who braided my hair was previously being disciplined in the corner for hurting people by pulling too hard since until she worked on me it appeared that she was only working on wigs and I must say she treated my hair with little empathy. Eleven hours at a salon is really a prime example of the sort of thing that happens in Africa. Nothing is to be rushed for and this is often take to ridiculous and absurd levels. I have to say while it was unbearable while it was going on, I guess I can't say that I regret it because where else would you pay 10$ to get a pound of fake hair intertwined with your own? It is worthwhile to note that the hairdressers complained that there is no way it would take this long to braid african hair and I suspect that by around 8 pm they were regretting this tedious task at least as much as we were. We were all quite mystified by the horror and agony of the process by the time that it was done. Oh yes, and we were also STARVING since we hadn't eaten since breakfast. There is also one more component of this story which I will try not to elaborate on too deeply, but this hair braiding travail occurred at the exact same time as my period decided to spontaneously splurt forth with remarkable force. This unexpected combination of events left me with deep concern for the ladies' pillow I was sitting upon and left me in dyer agony as blood was beginning to trickle down my leg. Thank god my jeans were absorbent because nothing could make me move as that might possibly prolong this astoundingly lengthy tedious hairpulling hell. Anyway, that is how I spent my Saturday....

update

Things are still going well, Dave's mom is helping out my school by sending books and maps. This is very exciting since many of the classes are conducted without materials at all. Many classes teach things ineffectively or incorrectly. As a visitor, I just have to bite my tongue alot. I am very excited about the arrival of books.


I am also excited by the fact that my parents are sending me on a safari for my birthday. I WILL SEE BEASTS!

Not much internet time.... here is a brief review;

Friday we debated whether female cirumcision should be legal. The best quote that I can offer is,"So what if I go and buy a clean razor before i circumcise you?"

I went to a wedding last night. They served a whole goat sitting down on a platter with grass clenched in its mouth. It was barbecued.

I am meeting with the program coordinator of LIVE today to try to explain to him why his program is failing. LIVE is the Tanzania branch of IVHQ. Incompetence does indeed have a face.

Two Month Review

There are reasonably few good things to say about lonelyness and isolation; however, of those few things I think that the reflection and contemplation that they bring are sufficient to justify some occasional suffering. Now that another roommate has left for home I am immersing myself in these thoughtful somewhat boring moments to be constructive. So today I attempt to turn away from the more typical things I do in slow moments (like pushing myself to see how much water I can drink in an hour or counting the number of days that I have been here and counting my malaria tablets to see if they add up correctly and if they don't add up correctly wondering if it is just hot in here or if I have malaria...) and turn towards effectively recollecting my more interesting insights since being in Africa. In short, things here are not always exciting - especially when the other volunteers don't do anything interesting on the weekends (and for some, perhaps in life). But I am learning lots of interesting things and thus I bring you the disorganized hodgepodge that is my 2 month review.

The NGO
Today I met with Aggrey, the director of LIVE (tanz side), to help him fix his orientation packet and everything before Daniel Radcliffe arrives tomorrow. Aggrey isn't the problem specifically, he just happens to have been handed a shit deal post-embezzling asshole. It really doesn't help though that Aggrey's english is not quite there. This results in amazing moments of confusion and miscomunication that never really get resolved. I have been trying to help him though - why not? It is interesting to look inside a failing organization and see what went wrong and in this case most things have. The local staff is unreliable, there is no hierarchy to speak of except for Daniel in NZ and Aggrey in Tanz. When asked to chart out where all the program fees go the answers just lead to more contradiction and confusion. Aggrey's explanation in this instance is actually unlike anything I have ever heard - it is as though you are consumed by a vacuum of negative information. I think this results from poor English skills, the mishandling of money that occurred before he ran the organization, and the fact that he has never met Daniel before. (That is until tomorrow of course). So it will be interesting to see what happens. I meet Daniel tomorrow as well.

Misc.
They pour kerosene in entryways to our house to keep out the wadudu (insects). It smells like burning assholes.

The other day I looked longingly at a goat's ripe burgeoning udder and contemplated milking it (this is on of my goals while in Africa). Then I realized that it wasn't an udder at all - just some big fat goat nutts. They were ripe like mangoes.

The power goes out randomly.

The hot water heater burned out in the first week that I was here so we use hot water in buckets to bathe. Not inconvenient, but you get an idea about the repair wait time on things here...

The Family
Bibi (grandma) sits alone and just endures life through most days. I feel sad for her. She is really quite nice when we have successful communication. I know she would like to talk to me more, but speaking Swahili can get very tiring so I don't do it enough. Our house girl, Asha, is very sweet. She is only 16 and fasting through Ramadan while she cooks for us every day. Mama is always hasseling her to remember things and do them more correctly. Asha gets yelled at alot. She has trouble remembering because she is illiterate and can't write things down. I got a book to teach her Swahili since Bibi doesn't have anything to do and Asha needs to learn to read/write. I hope that this will make her life easier. Bibi and Asha seem happy with this arrangement.

An interesting note about biases:
It is interesting that Mama would hire a Muslim when she seems to dislike them so much. Perhaps this makes it easier to yell at her. Remember that my host family is very educated and they are far more open-minded than most families here... Mama blames all things about Tanzania that might be considered by a European/American to be uncivilized to be a result of Muslims. She blames pit toilets and lack of toilet paper on the Muslims. It is interesting that she would say this since the church she goes to has pit toilets and no toilet paper as well. Muslim infiltration clearly redid their bathrooms in spite. Most third world countries operate this way regardless of religion probably because running water isn't always prevalent and the cost of toilet paper is more food you can't afford. So why not give yourself a hand... Mama also claims that the only reason people convert to Islam here is because of the pro-Muslim regime in the 1980's in Tanzania. She says that people converted to get government positions and that they burned churches. Some of this is true, but I suspect there is more to the story. The current regime is moderate Christian.

Today she told me a story of 2 Anglicans who converted from Islam right after going on the Hajj. They claim that in the pilgrimage to Mecca they were led into a room with all the other Muslims to pray and they were told to keep their eyes closed and not to look up. These 2 say that they looked up and saw a vision of Jesus and Mary and then converted and confessed all their sins and became Anglican. Mama also cites rumors that she heard when she visited Turkey that the Muslim religion was beginning they were told they had to write their own book to compete with Christianity.

While Mama blames many things on Muslims, Baba blames many things on West Africans, especially Africa's bad reputation as a dangerous and uncivilized place. He believes that West Africans are just generally a ridiculously rough bunch that cause problems everywhere they go. Mama adds that they also over spice their food.

Masha believes that Kenyans can't be trusted since he has had 3 bad Kenyan employees in the past. I mentioned that my host mother is from Kenya and he deflected this generalization from her since she had the good insight to marry a Tanzanian.

Many Tanzanians feel elevated above Kenyans in the wake of the Kenya election violence in February. I can understand why they would value this differentiation since Kenyans and Ugandans are a great threat to Tanzanian jobs because Kenyans and Ugandans are taught in English only beginning in grade 1. This is a huge advantage and causes somewhat of an inferiority complex among Tanzanians.

So, in short, the bad things about Africa are always someone else's creation.

School
I'm sure I have mentioned before that Masha and Samuel are born again Pentacostals... We watch evangelical music videos during lunch so some of the first Swahili that I learned came from the chorus "Unakwenda wapi?", meaning "Where are you going?" Sometimes in the middle of a conversation or just without prompting Masha will exclaim, "Jesus I praise you" - kind of like he has Turrets Syndrome. Other times he will spontaneously burst into song. One day he asked me if I would like to stop work for 2 hours and pray with him. I offered to watch the office for him. I think he was joking... I have great hatred for personal religious interrogations so I ascribe any difference in personal religious preferences to being a Quaker. I knew that this would be successful when he asked me if a Quaker was Christian - I have kept the rout up quite successfully, but I just know one day they will meet a real Quaker and they will be very confused.

Now, to be fair despite the fact that I find this sort of fanaticism quite off putting, it is part of the reason I trust Masha to do things ethically. Many schools and orphanages are corrupted; they embezzle money and steel food and exploit their cause. Masha is genuine and I believe that he will absolutely do what he says he will do. Other volunteers wire money for school fees for certain students each month and he always sees to it that the money goes to the right place.

Random Notes from Today
On my way to the internet cafe a dog followed me for the entirety of my journey. Several people asked about my dog. On my way home I was offered a chance to hold a chameleon. Chameleons are very odd - shifty eyes, hard to trust 'em. Maybe one of my students will bring me a chameleon....

And me...
There are so many things that I want to do! I want to take courses in microfinance, sustainable development, journalism, English, foreign relations, and business. I want to be certified to do AIDS/HIV education and teaching English as a foreign language on top of that. What sort of interdisciplinary program would offer all of that? How many years would it take? Is that...possible?

I am currently reading Dune and I would like to cite Frank Herbert as a great source of inspiration because of his brief profile mentioned in the back of the book: "Frank Herbert was...educated at the University of Washington, Seattle. He worked a wide variety of jobs - including TV cameraman, radio commentator, oyster diver, jungle survival instructor, lay analyst, creative writing teacher, reporter and editor of several West Coast newspapers - before becoming a full-time writer." So I guess there isn't any real rush then...I am only 26 after all and I haven't even worked as a jungle survival instructor.

One Month....

August 30th, 2008

Rosie, the 18 year old daughter of my host family is home for the next 2 weeks from boarding school. Today we went to see "Don't Mess with Zohan" because it was better than the other movie that was playing. I have to say, it was actually pretty funny. But this might just be coming from my previous experiences with Israeli men from when I worked at the kiosk. Today, Rosie and I also went to the market and bought some clothes. I needed a new sweater since I only brought one and it is cold every night and morning. The end result is that I never wash my only sweater and now it smells like dog.

Earlier in the week when I was walking home with Irene, one of my students, some men called out something to me. I typically just say "nzuri" if I don't know what was said (this means good and it is most often the right response). After responding, "Nzuri" to the men who I assumed to be friendly I was told by Irene that one of the men had said to the other men that I was his fiance. I think they get quite a good laugh out of this regularly as this exact process happens almost daily. I am very good entertainment.

Yesterday I was proposed to on the street. A man saw me in my kanga and asked me if I was learning Swahili. I said yes and he proceeded to ask me to marry him. He was actually fairly serious. I have learned that the proper response here is not ''I'm a lesbian" because that is a word that few Tanzanians know. I told him that I was married and this solved my problem.

Today I went to a different church service with my host mother, I expected for it to be an hour long or so, but it turned out to include a wedding and be 4 hours long. I took this time as an opportunity to collect my thoughts, and then it lasted for 2 more hours and I was out of thoughts. This service had a good bit of singing and dancing. The wedding was between a man from Michigan to a Tanzanian woman - missionaries, I think. There was also possibly the ordination of a faith healer. I like to think of this service as preparation for the next level: the pentacostal church that I have been invited to go to with Masha from work. Given the Christian dance videos that we watch during lunch when we aren't watching people be healed on Dvd, I may really need to prepare myself. I have found that it is easiest to tell people that I am a Quaker.

I have come to think of living in a country like this as an act of submission. I have gone into a very different culture, bowed down, and said, "I am your student, teach me about your ways.'" It requires a lot of openness to do this. and a great willingness to compromise (which I am usually not too good at), but I think that this is necessary to really learn. A lot of what I have learned is about myself. I don't find myself asking if I "can" do things here. I just assume that I can and I will, I just need to figure out how. This is how I have approached teaching, learning Swahili, and also educating myself about NGO's and volunteer work in Tanzania. In some ways learning like this is difficult, but it is also liberating because you are free to take your time and experiment because no one really tells you how to do things here - you just have to be flexible.

I received a very nice compliment today. I was told that wherever I go I will always be welcomed because I am willing to live by the ways of the people. Shitting in holes doesn't bother me and neither do frequent inexplicable power outages or bucket baths. I haven't found anything here that I find horrible or unmanageable yet. The only things that I find a bit trying at times are the restrictions on nighttime activities due to security and the burning of trash. They burn trash everywhere at all times of the day and it smells horrible. They are burning some next door now.

I really like teaching adults. I am increasingly interested in learning basic microfinance, getting certified to teach English as a foreign language, and getting certified to do AIDS education. I think that if I either received certifications in these things or found a masters degree that achieved these goals that I could really help people.


Oh yes...and in case you were wondering, here is a little blurb on how medicine in Tanzania is:

I had an eye infection last week and amazingly I was able to go to a pharmacist and get antibiotic drops hassle free for 5 dollars. It was awesome. That said, you really have to watch it if you have to go to the hospital. I talked with a girl in the hospital program last week and she had seen some interesting things. Apparently, the hospitals make more money if you get a C-section instead of a normal pregnancy so they do a lot of unnecessary C-sections. Sara also saw a doctor remove part of a man's testicle due to an infection. The doctor proceeded to remove the offending nut and put something else in to replace it while the man was unconscious. The doctor did this saying that the man would never know the difference and since he wasn't going to be told about the removal. That way he would continue to feel like a man. This doctor (at the best hospital here by the way) also asked the medical students, "so why wouldn't a woman want to be circumcised?" In general, anasthetics are a convenience. At one of the rural hospitals one girl saw a leg in a bucket in a hallway. Respectable doctors believe that condoms just don't work. I have come to see that the key difference between peaceful first and third world countries is medical care quality. Just so you know, if I went to rural Tanzania and offered to help out in hospitals I could do surgeries.

My new room mate is in the medical program, more stories shortly anticipated. I want to spend at least a day in the hospital (volunteering). It sounds horrifying, but the stories are awesome.

Update

Things are still going well in Arusha. My placement is great. Today we debated: "Should dowry and bride prices continue in our tradition?" I am learning so much this way. By the way, when Masha (one of the teachers) got married he had to give his wife's family 24 crates of soda. (usually this would be beer, but it is against his religion). He also technically owes them a cow. When my host mother was married her husband gave her parents 12 cows.

Masha recently made the comment, "I really like how the Maasai do circumcision...they do it themselves." I am still trying to figure out what that means. Unfortunately the conversation came to an end because I was at his house and his wife is Maasai.

I have bought several different Kanga's. I try to wear African dress every day. People are very excited about the fact that I have adopted their way of dress. A kanga is an inexpensive cloth that you wrap around yourself over another skirt or pants. I guess after years of wanting to look western they are excited to see that someone values their culture too.

I am being fed until I want to explode. This is really the greatest hardship that I have had to endure. But really.... Really way more food than anyone could want. Most of it is good though. I had a stew with meat and banana lately. Better than you would think...

I taught a lesson on prepositions this week and the students here did infinitely better than the ones at the shitty private school I was at before. No one got below a 65 on the test and I made it fairly hard.

Apolygamous?

I am still quite pleased with my placement. Things are going well in Arusha, despite a slight cold that I got from my roommate. I don't have much time, but here is an interesting story.

The class debate that we had on Friday was written on the board as, "Apolygamous is better than amonogamous". This is how our debate about polygamy and monogamy began. I secretly erased the unnecessary "a" when no one was looking only to have it rewritten as, "Polygamy life is better than monogamy life" - I guess this is at least a small success in that these are real words. The students suggest the daily topic and debate it to further their usage of English. So people will frequently take stances that they disagree with just to amuse themselves and controversial topics are taken to get a rise out of people so that there will be more argument. Masha, the head teacher, likes to play devil's advocate. When arguing in support of polygamy his logic was as follows: "There are more women in the world and they all want to be married. If we do not allow men to take more than one wife there will be many single women and this will result in widespread lesbianism which is a great sin." The end of this argument resulted in him asking me to write "lesbian", "gay", "homosexual", and "homophobic" on the board. He asked me to explain homophobia then he said, "homophobic, that is good". I said, "uh...well, that is one way to look at it..."

I have discovered more and more that the best way to get by in Africa is just to accept things as they come and not to argue at all because it is absolutely futile.
Later I will tell you about religion in Africa. This is really a very very different beast... By the way, Masha is Pentecostal.

Teaching English in Mwanama

My new program is amazing. I am incredibly happy with what I am doing now. I am teaching English at an adult school in a much more rural area of Arusha. The school teaches about 120 students English in hopes of furthering their proffesional lives. Without English advancement is hard and the school system in this country does not teach English effectively. My school offers the cheapest English language courses of any place in Arusha as well as classes in Italian and Spanish. My school is on the second floor of a rickety building. It contains 2 classrooms and an office and it is about the same size in its entirety as your average classroom for 20 students in America. It is very small and their resources are remarkably limited. The students are very eager to learn and they are very excited to have me. I am teaching with 3 other teachers - men from Tanzania and Kenya who are about my age. They are very nice. None of my fellow teachers have college degrees and they do very well with what education they have. This country is so poor. They need so much. One of them asked me if I could please take him to the internet cafe and show him how to use the internet. He has never used it before. I don't know if any of them have. I said I would try to teach him. The problem is that at $1.50/hour it is too expensive for most locals to use. They need books here...BADLY. Getting a spanish textbook in africa is apparently impossible. They have 2 books in spanish from the 1980's in very bad condition. They need English grammar books as well - most of those are British publications from the 1980's as well. If anyone can get ahold of some used books and is willing to send them these people would be incredibly grateful. I realize that shipping will be expensive though.

Mondays and Fridays we run class debates to teach students speaking skills. My first class was a debate about the best way to eradicate AIDS in Africa. I assisted in educating them further... They were only discussing using condoms, abstinence, and faithfulness. I brought in an excessive amount of facts about HIV and the importance of making your partner get tested. I think that I was quite helpful.

Tuesdays and Wednesdays we go over grammar and vocabulary. Thursdays they take tests. Today I helped them with grammar and worked with the less advanced ones to go over vocabulary. Most of this entailed going through a list of opposites such as "here" and "there" and using them in context.

The owner of the school, Masha, (one of the teachers) has me over for lunch every day with his wife and baby. I don't quite know how to take this but at my first introduction to the wife she said, "She is pretty" and then handed me all of their wedding albums to go through. We proceeded to eat while watching a Gospel DVD of dancing gyrating and praising. The dancing is quite unlike anything that I have ever seen. The first meal we had I was fed Ugali. This is very similar to cement and because I was a guest they gave me alot. I can't explain the agonies of hospitality in situations like these, but let me just say that the conclusion was carried out most grotequely over a gaping stinking hole in the ground 2 hours later.

The men that I teach with are so capable but they cannot afford college. All they want to do is have access to better reading materials and go to school and they cannot afford it. Most of them didn't complete high school because their parents ran out of money. They just read up and passed their equivalent of the GED. One of them went in to the University and inquired about fees and the administrator said, "what do you do for a living?" He told her he was a teacher and she asked how much he made. After he told her about his earnings she said that that wouldn't even cover the first third of one school year so he went home. I am looking into scholarship programs for them here and abroad. Maybe the Rotary could do something.

If anyone has access to materials let me know. Also, if you know of any materials online that I could print off for them those would be very helpful as well.