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Issky Cool?
16 years ago
Monday, October 27, 2008
Friday, October 24, 2008
Sex ed class and travel plans
I have changed my flight date to return on November 16th to NYC. I will be leaving Arusha sometime between this Monday and Wednesday to travel in Africa with a few other volunteers. We are currently planning to go to Kampala for about 4 days and then return via Nairobi to watch election returns and maybe see giraffes again. After that (around November 5th or 6th) I will probably be back in Arusha to pick up the excess baggage that I have accumulated, then i think I will go to Tanga for a few days and eventually Dar to fly out on November 16th.
Hooray! This should make it just right so that i don't completely run out of money, BUT I will actually get to travel with friends that I have made here.
I am considering doing white water rafting the Nile in Jinja,Uganda- Anyone know how likely it is that I would die doing that by: 1) parasites or 2)drowning/concussion? I am actually interested to know how dangerous this really is. You go with guides who are like bouncers who rip you out of the water when you might die.
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Sex Ed Class
Today was my last day with the students. I am actually really proud of my impromptu sex ed class. I bought some condoms and did a full on demonstration to show them that condoms don't have holes. I also dealt with some AMAZING misconceptions about HIV. Many of my students believe that HIV was created in a laboratory to kill the african people. Most of them believe that condoms prevent against pregnancy but not HIV. To be fair, african brand condoms are questionable. I can't figure out what they are made of, but it is definitely not latex. I think it might be some generic rubber product which begs the question, do they actually prevent against HIV? They should... Can anyone find me information on the reliability of Salama brand condoms?
One of my students argued tooth and nail with me insisting that HIV cannot be transmitted by semen - only blood. I drew a handy diagram of seminal fluid and went into great detail about how "penis juice, vagina juice, and blood" are the only conductors of HIV. He firmly believed that condoms are just a business that takes advantage of the African people, but I believe that I persuaded him otherwise as well as several others and I might have actually saved some lives.
After class I let them ask me all sorts of questions which ranged from anal and oral sex to bestiality and transmission of HIV from mother to child. I don't know if anyone has ever talked to them this frankly about sex before. But I think it was important that I do it because they know and respect me and they know that I wouldn't lie to them.
It is really hard to listen to them say things over and over, like how HIV cannot be prevented by condoms, or how birth control pills are poison, or how prayer is a form of birth control, or how drinking water after sex prevents pregnancy, or how condoms all have holes, or how condoms are evil, or how prayer can make you well if you have HIV (like test negative again).....but I guess it allows me to address the problem more directly. It does also make me want to bang my head against a wall.
Masha, the teacher I work most with, at lunch noted that I am infinitely better than any other volunteer that he has ever had because I work hard and really care. He also gave me some African cloths to make clothes out of. It was a good day. I will miss my students a lot.
Hooray! This should make it just right so that i don't completely run out of money, BUT I will actually get to travel with friends that I have made here.
I am considering doing white water rafting the Nile in Jinja,Uganda- Anyone know how likely it is that I would die doing that by: 1) parasites or 2)drowning/concussion? I am actually interested to know how dangerous this really is. You go with guides who are like bouncers who rip you out of the water when you might die.
------------------
Sex Ed Class
Today was my last day with the students. I am actually really proud of my impromptu sex ed class. I bought some condoms and did a full on demonstration to show them that condoms don't have holes. I also dealt with some AMAZING misconceptions about HIV. Many of my students believe that HIV was created in a laboratory to kill the african people. Most of them believe that condoms prevent against pregnancy but not HIV. To be fair, african brand condoms are questionable. I can't figure out what they are made of, but it is definitely not latex. I think it might be some generic rubber product which begs the question, do they actually prevent against HIV? They should... Can anyone find me information on the reliability of Salama brand condoms?
One of my students argued tooth and nail with me insisting that HIV cannot be transmitted by semen - only blood. I drew a handy diagram of seminal fluid and went into great detail about how "penis juice, vagina juice, and blood" are the only conductors of HIV. He firmly believed that condoms are just a business that takes advantage of the African people, but I believe that I persuaded him otherwise as well as several others and I might have actually saved some lives.
After class I let them ask me all sorts of questions which ranged from anal and oral sex to bestiality and transmission of HIV from mother to child. I don't know if anyone has ever talked to them this frankly about sex before. But I think it was important that I do it because they know and respect me and they know that I wouldn't lie to them.
It is really hard to listen to them say things over and over, like how HIV cannot be prevented by condoms, or how birth control pills are poison, or how prayer is a form of birth control, or how drinking water after sex prevents pregnancy, or how condoms all have holes, or how condoms are evil, or how prayer can make you well if you have HIV (like test negative again).....but I guess it allows me to address the problem more directly. It does also make me want to bang my head against a wall.
Masha, the teacher I work most with, at lunch noted that I am infinitely better than any other volunteer that he has ever had because I work hard and really care. He also gave me some African cloths to make clothes out of. It was a good day. I will miss my students a lot.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
ANOTHER PLAN!
Alright, I might have a ANOTHER TENTATIVE plan, but I am still waiting for STA to get back to me on my flight change. My plan is to leave for Uganda sometime between Monday and Thursday to spend a little time in Kampala and then to journey back via Nairobi for the election. Some people from my volunteer group will probably do this too and that makes it more tempting. Otherwise I might forgo the long bus ride and bum around in Kenya. Later maybe Malawi? But as I have not yet received flight confirmation, I could still be coming back on the 28th. Now you might be asking yourself, "Emily, why is your planning ability so awesome?" and the answer is, "uh...(see the previously belated drunken post for more information on my mad processing skills at the moment)."
So there you have it.
Zanzibar was great. Traveling was great. On the way back from Dar to Arusha I even finally got to hang my white ass out there with the best of them over a ditch next to the busy highway. (Note to self bring kanga for next bus ride). This was actually on my list of things to do, right next to buying a chicken and giving it away and milking a cow. Check, check, and check!
Now I am back and tying up loose ends. My students are bloody awesome. I will really miss them. My last day is Friday at school. I really should get certified for TEFL when I get back. I enjoy teaching adults English. They try so hard. So anyway, working on making plans and checking my e-mail neurotically until STA says I can pay for my date change.
Does anyone know of a TEFL program that might help you get a masters degree for teaching in the states?
Anyway, feel free to experience the following rambling post from a few weeks ago. I should note, I am not as depressed as I was when I decided to belt out that glorious work of art, but it is still difficult going home at night and realizing that there is nothing much to do but write and re-count those malaria pills. Sun down at 6:30, dinner at 8, no company... It gets to you. But I like to think that it is for a greater good.
So there you have it.
Zanzibar was great. Traveling was great. On the way back from Dar to Arusha I even finally got to hang my white ass out there with the best of them over a ditch next to the busy highway. (Note to self bring kanga for next bus ride). This was actually on my list of things to do, right next to buying a chicken and giving it away and milking a cow. Check, check, and check!
Now I am back and tying up loose ends. My students are bloody awesome. I will really miss them. My last day is Friday at school. I really should get certified for TEFL when I get back. I enjoy teaching adults English. They try so hard. So anyway, working on making plans and checking my e-mail neurotically until STA says I can pay for my date change.
Does anyone know of a TEFL program that might help you get a masters degree for teaching in the states?
Anyway, feel free to experience the following rambling post from a few weeks ago. I should note, I am not as depressed as I was when I decided to belt out that glorious work of art, but it is still difficult going home at night and realizing that there is nothing much to do but write and re-count those malaria pills. Sun down at 6:30, dinner at 8, no company... It gets to you. But I like to think that it is for a greater good.
Ah yes, the delayed drunken post from a few weeks ago...Buckle your seatbelts for an amazing journey into way too much introspection.
Here is a post that I wrote on October 8th. It was delayed because I lost my memory stick for awhile.
As it happens it is now 6:30 and another roommate has departed so here I sit as darkness falls on Arusha and the realization hits me yet again that there isn't jack shit to do in this town at night. I like to believe that such solitude is good for the soul as the greatest masterpieces seem to seep from the tormented pores of depressed and lonely people; however, that doesn't make it more appealing. With or without a roommate though it is difficult to say that there isn't a loneliness to being a foreigner in Africa. To me it isn't the sort of loneliness that makes you long for others as much as it makes you closer to yourself - in that way that wrapping yourself in a blanket of depression might seem so comforting that you might accidentally suffocate yourself with it. You learn a reliance on yourself here. You learn unquestionable self-sufficiency, but also that even in bizarre and lonely circumstances you are never in a vacuum. People are always helpful and they touch your heart, yet they never alleviate the sense that ultimately you are alone in your quest here. Sometimes I wonder if these generalizations have less to do with Africa and more to do with a phase of life. People can keep telling you that you are not alone, but that only serves to prove and reinforce your absolute knowledge that you are in fact quite alone.
God what is it with these deep philosophical inquiries? This is definitely the last time I take to drinking and writing as a suitable solution to excess alone time...if not that thenI promise it is ABSOLUTELY the last time I do it with a bottle of two-dollar vodka. This shit will either blind me or give me magical powers. Cheers! I'm hoping for the latter.
Well, anyway...perhaps we should move from the idly contemplative to the mildly interesting shit about Africa. The other day a girl in a school uniform walking in pace with me said, "Give me money." I said no and we continued on in awkward broken conversation for awhile. I discerned that she was in standard six and probably about 12-14 years of age. She said, "My mother is dead, give me money". I looked hard at her and said, "My mother is dead. Our mothers die in America sometimes too." I don't know why I told her this. I mean, since I last checked my mother was doing fine. I guess I just wanted to show her that it isn't so simple - not all white people have vast resources to scatter among the poor. I felt a bit bad about it later, maybe I should have given her something or atleast told her something honest - I just wanted someone to realize that it isn't that easy. Children always say, "give me money!" Men ask for money to go school. I mean, how can you give money to one person here? That doesn't solve anything. Everyone wants something from you here if you are white, and to be fair my flight over here is probably more money than they see in 6 months if not more, but I don't have enough money to fix all of these problems. And if the don't want money, then they want something else...
Every day men I pass say, "Hey baby, I love you" and (in Swahili) "How are you my fiance?" Sometimes they make kissey noises or offer their phone numbers or propose to me in the street. Sometimes it is ok, other times it is funny, more often it is becoming infuriating. More often it makes me want to look them in the eye and explain to them that I am not their fucking baby, not their fucking cock-tease - that I am here to help them to improve their fucking English so that maybe they could burrow their own way out of poverty. Yes....sometimes I am fussy. When I am really tired, sometimes I want to scream "THIS SORT OF BEHAVIOR IS THE REASON YOUR COUNTRY HAS A PROBLEM WITH AIDS". And to be fair, it is largely true, African male sexuality is viewed in the same light as that of a tornado. It is something that cannot be controlled and if you want to remain unaffected by it the only thing you can do is seek shelter if it gets violent and just generally pray. So anyway, sometimes it gets tiring and I want to be a little more honest. But really, I usually smile and greet them as though they have said nothing offensive at all because it is always best to be diplomatic and to avoid making unnecessary enemies.
In sum, it gets difficult sometimes.
It certainly isn't all bad. Sometimes it just gets to me. But even Masha, the uber-born again Pentacostal is affected by these biases. A few weeks ago we were talking about nuns and he enunciated his firm belief that nuns and priests cannot possibly go through life without having sex. He argues staunchly that nuns and priests live near each other and have gatherings for some holy shagging. I tried to explain that a few scandals do not make an absolute rule, but I suspect that this didn't make much of a dent in his perception.
Apparently in Africa EVERYTHING is about sex. It is something that men cannot go a week without and a reason for female circumcision to prevent women from going outside of the marriage. It is the pulsing life and death force of poverty here and it is as untamed as a bull with freshly agitated testicles. Women are expected to submit to their men's wishes for sex whenever and wherever it is requested; otherwise, they are held responsible for their men's wandering. Men are not held responsible for controlling their sexual desire at all. Women firmly believe that men are the heads of household and they are by God's election superior to women in decision making for the home (see Adam and Eve in Genesis). Girls are less likely to be educated than boys (especially if they are Muslims). The gender issues go on forever. I never have considered myself much of an avid feminist, but christ. Sometimes when we discuss gender issues in class I begin to feel as though I can't breathe.
Well, the two-dollar vodka is wearing off and it is 9:30 at night...a belated dinner awaits.
As it happens it is now 6:30 and another roommate has departed so here I sit as darkness falls on Arusha and the realization hits me yet again that there isn't jack shit to do in this town at night. I like to believe that such solitude is good for the soul as the greatest masterpieces seem to seep from the tormented pores of depressed and lonely people; however, that doesn't make it more appealing. With or without a roommate though it is difficult to say that there isn't a loneliness to being a foreigner in Africa. To me it isn't the sort of loneliness that makes you long for others as much as it makes you closer to yourself - in that way that wrapping yourself in a blanket of depression might seem so comforting that you might accidentally suffocate yourself with it. You learn a reliance on yourself here. You learn unquestionable self-sufficiency, but also that even in bizarre and lonely circumstances you are never in a vacuum. People are always helpful and they touch your heart, yet they never alleviate the sense that ultimately you are alone in your quest here. Sometimes I wonder if these generalizations have less to do with Africa and more to do with a phase of life. People can keep telling you that you are not alone, but that only serves to prove and reinforce your absolute knowledge that you are in fact quite alone.
God what is it with these deep philosophical inquiries? This is definitely the last time I take to drinking and writing as a suitable solution to excess alone time...if not that thenI promise it is ABSOLUTELY the last time I do it with a bottle of two-dollar vodka. This shit will either blind me or give me magical powers. Cheers! I'm hoping for the latter.
Well, anyway...perhaps we should move from the idly contemplative to the mildly interesting shit about Africa. The other day a girl in a school uniform walking in pace with me said, "Give me money." I said no and we continued on in awkward broken conversation for awhile. I discerned that she was in standard six and probably about 12-14 years of age. She said, "My mother is dead, give me money". I looked hard at her and said, "My mother is dead. Our mothers die in America sometimes too." I don't know why I told her this. I mean, since I last checked my mother was doing fine. I guess I just wanted to show her that it isn't so simple - not all white people have vast resources to scatter among the poor. I felt a bit bad about it later, maybe I should have given her something or atleast told her something honest - I just wanted someone to realize that it isn't that easy. Children always say, "give me money!" Men ask for money to go school. I mean, how can you give money to one person here? That doesn't solve anything. Everyone wants something from you here if you are white, and to be fair my flight over here is probably more money than they see in 6 months if not more, but I don't have enough money to fix all of these problems. And if the don't want money, then they want something else...
Every day men I pass say, "Hey baby, I love you" and (in Swahili) "How are you my fiance?" Sometimes they make kissey noises or offer their phone numbers or propose to me in the street. Sometimes it is ok, other times it is funny, more often it is becoming infuriating. More often it makes me want to look them in the eye and explain to them that I am not their fucking baby, not their fucking cock-tease - that I am here to help them to improve their fucking English so that maybe they could burrow their own way out of poverty. Yes....sometimes I am fussy. When I am really tired, sometimes I want to scream "THIS SORT OF BEHAVIOR IS THE REASON YOUR COUNTRY HAS A PROBLEM WITH AIDS". And to be fair, it is largely true, African male sexuality is viewed in the same light as that of a tornado. It is something that cannot be controlled and if you want to remain unaffected by it the only thing you can do is seek shelter if it gets violent and just generally pray. So anyway, sometimes it gets tiring and I want to be a little more honest. But really, I usually smile and greet them as though they have said nothing offensive at all because it is always best to be diplomatic and to avoid making unnecessary enemies.
In sum, it gets difficult sometimes.
It certainly isn't all bad. Sometimes it just gets to me. But even Masha, the uber-born again Pentacostal is affected by these biases. A few weeks ago we were talking about nuns and he enunciated his firm belief that nuns and priests cannot possibly go through life without having sex. He argues staunchly that nuns and priests live near each other and have gatherings for some holy shagging. I tried to explain that a few scandals do not make an absolute rule, but I suspect that this didn't make much of a dent in his perception.
Apparently in Africa EVERYTHING is about sex. It is something that men cannot go a week without and a reason for female circumcision to prevent women from going outside of the marriage. It is the pulsing life and death force of poverty here and it is as untamed as a bull with freshly agitated testicles. Women are expected to submit to their men's wishes for sex whenever and wherever it is requested; otherwise, they are held responsible for their men's wandering. Men are not held responsible for controlling their sexual desire at all. Women firmly believe that men are the heads of household and they are by God's election superior to women in decision making for the home (see Adam and Eve in Genesis). Girls are less likely to be educated than boys (especially if they are Muslims). The gender issues go on forever. I never have considered myself much of an avid feminist, but christ. Sometimes when we discuss gender issues in class I begin to feel as though I can't breathe.
Well, the two-dollar vodka is wearing off and it is 9:30 at night...a belated dinner awaits.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
In Dar again
The great thing about travling alone is that you meet so many other travelers. I hung out wiht a pack of Norwegian girls in Kendwa and a girl from Spain in Stone Town. Soon I will go to bed because I am waking up early to go find a bus to Arusha/Nairobi with an Irish guy whose name I hardly know. Africa unifies travelers more than other places of course because white people stand out and I guess we band together. We always end up talking alot about politics and health care because the American health care system is such shit compared to Europe and England.
Currently I am in Dar again preparing to take the bus to Arusha tomorrow. I wanted to stay longer in Stone Town, but I need to conclude my teaching position in Arusha before I move on. It looks like I can extend my stay here and I think I will stay at least until November 18th, probably until November 30 or December 1. I will pay for this change as soon as STA clears up a question I had. I really want to be back for the election but the more I think about it and the more I travel out of Arusha, I can't go home yet - I need to see more of Africa. I am looking at getting a teaching position in Stone Town, but if that doesn't work out I will just travel - that might be best anyway. I haven't even made it to Tanga yet and I could see Mombasa and maybe even go into Zambia or Malawi.
Currently I am in Dar again preparing to take the bus to Arusha tomorrow. I wanted to stay longer in Stone Town, but I need to conclude my teaching position in Arusha before I move on. It looks like I can extend my stay here and I think I will stay at least until November 18th, probably until November 30 or December 1. I will pay for this change as soon as STA clears up a question I had. I really want to be back for the election but the more I think about it and the more I travel out of Arusha, I can't go home yet - I need to see more of Africa. I am looking at getting a teaching position in Stone Town, but if that doesn't work out I will just travel - that might be best anyway. I haven't even made it to Tanga yet and I could see Mombasa and maybe even go into Zambia or Malawi.
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Beaches and 14 year old boys...
Have you ever wondered what it is like when 2 white girls go swimming in a sexually repressed society with 14 year old boys? Well, the answer is, it is like getting pelted with vienna sausages. At first we thought they were just friendly, then we realized that we had to get out of the water.
I had some concerns it might go this way when as we were walking down the beach I thought to myself, "now where are all the other women?"
I requested a flight change to the 30th of November. I am not sure if it will be possible to change it so late, but we will see. This has nothing to do with an affinity for Vienna sausages.
I had some concerns it might go this way when as we were walking down the beach I thought to myself, "now where are all the other women?"
I requested a flight change to the 30th of November. I am not sure if it will be possible to change it so late, but we will see. This has nothing to do with an affinity for Vienna sausages.
Friday, October 17, 2008
Stone Town
Well, as luck would have it I was having lunch in a vegetarian restaurant near my hostel and I met a girl who is doing research for her doctorate in medicine in Germany. We had lunch together and she said the guy who runs her volunteer program might be able to help me find volunteer teaching work here in Stone Town. I met with him, sent him my resume, we'll see what happens. I find this an exciting prospect. I don't know exactly what it will cost though so that might be problematic. This excitement is definitely moderated by the fact that I almost gave myself sun stroke yesterday. I don't know if my head is sore because I burned it or from the monkey....
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Zanzibar!
After getting to Zanzibar I have changed my mind, I am considering staying in africa a little longer and changing my date of return to Nov. 27th to stay and volunteer here. Not sure yet though. But zanzibar is awesome- really I think the rest of Tanzania is awesome. I am somewhat saddened by the fact that I have spent the last several months in Arusha which is really the armpit of Tanzania. It doesn't feel like Africa there. But now I am really in Africa and it is so much more amazing and the people are great. I haven't made any attempts to change my flight yet, but I am considering it. Will know more tomorrow. Either way I have to go back to Arusha on Sunday, Monday, or Tuesday but I was thinking of coming back to Tanga and Zanzibar for awhile.
This is perhaps the ultimate choice of coming back to reality or deciding to get lost on an island for a little while. Now that I am out of Arusha, Tanzania is so wonderful. I really want to stay and see more and do more. My school was great in Arusha, but the program at the time was essentially nonexistent and I felt horribly isolated most of the time. If I have the choice to stay and maybe seek out something better here I might just do it. Sorry guys that I told I would be home so soon....It might not happen for another month.
I met up with some girls from Norway and have been travelling with them for a few days now in Zanzibar. Currently I am in Kendwa and I am going to Stone Town tomorrow to seek some potential volunteer options or at least a cheap hostel.
Today I got to play with a monkey. It ate 3 bananas and tried to chew on my head.
Sorry for the redundancy and lack of fluid thought, but i am paying excessively for this internet time and it is about out.
This is perhaps the ultimate choice of coming back to reality or deciding to get lost on an island for a little while. Now that I am out of Arusha, Tanzania is so wonderful. I really want to stay and see more and do more. My school was great in Arusha, but the program at the time was essentially nonexistent and I felt horribly isolated most of the time. If I have the choice to stay and maybe seek out something better here I might just do it. Sorry guys that I told I would be home so soon....It might not happen for another month.
I met up with some girls from Norway and have been travelling with them for a few days now in Zanzibar. Currently I am in Kendwa and I am going to Stone Town tomorrow to seek some potential volunteer options or at least a cheap hostel.
Today I got to play with a monkey. It ate 3 bananas and tried to chew on my head.
Sorry for the redundancy and lack of fluid thought, but i am paying excessively for this internet time and it is about out.
Monday, October 13, 2008
Arrived in Dar
Arrived in Dar es Salaam today. Alas, couldn't convince anyone to make the journey with me so I am here by myself. I am hoping to find people on the way. The ride was fairly uneventful with the exception of an entire human leg that was just lying in the street in fairly central Dar. No blood though, just one full adult human leg (I believe it was male). Passers by seemed unimpressed.
Also, you have to love a country that is so serious about tea time that they actually serve you scalding hot tea in a dixie cup while you are bouncing down the highway at well over 70 mph in 90 degree weather. Amazing.
I have gotten to really like the group of volunteers that I am with now. It is tragic that they couldn't have been here earlier. I have briefly toyed with the idea of changing my return date again, but I think that that would be silly as inevitably I need to make some money and I still can't envison being here during the election. Although it would be easier now that there are several people here whose company I enjoy and who are actually willing to go out. But, it isn't like there is constant socialization during the week. While I have really enjoyed having a host family, I don't think I would want to have one again for such a long time. I really would rather live in volunteer housing with all the volunteers. I think that would be much less lonely. I really value community more than just about anything else and since we can't really walk at night in Arusha and since we have dinner retardedly late it is nearly impossible to see people every day and I think that I really need that - otherwise I start to get a little crazy. I think there are some programs in Thailand and elsewhere though where they would pay me to teach adults and they have cooperative housing so that might be promising for the future.
The hostel community here is really hit or miss. I am staying in an actual hotel which makes me sad, I thought they had dorm rooms which yield more meeting of people. Since it is more Muslim here though, dorms may be less common unless they are all female... I will probably head to Zanzibar tomorrow unless I can find some interesting people who have interesting things to do in Dar.
I have almost removed all of my braids. That is the cause which I dedicated my 10 hour bus ride to today. I planned on reading, but just watched out the window undid vast quantities of knotted hair, and listened to music. I really just want to re-emphasize just how fucking awesome Paul Simon is. He is fucking amazing.
I miss dancing. I mean, I can dance here like drunken whore at a carnival thanks to Vlad the 2$ vodka of champions, but I miss skilled dancing... Dancing that doesn't require me to rip yet another foreign man's hand off my gyrating ass every 10 seconds. But really, I will take what I can get... I mean a few nights ago they even played a Cecilia remix in Njiro and if that doesn't quell my desire to dance then nothing will regardless of how my dignity may suffer when videos come out later. This shit could go in National Geographic.
Also, you have to love a country that is so serious about tea time that they actually serve you scalding hot tea in a dixie cup while you are bouncing down the highway at well over 70 mph in 90 degree weather. Amazing.
I have gotten to really like the group of volunteers that I am with now. It is tragic that they couldn't have been here earlier. I have briefly toyed with the idea of changing my return date again, but I think that that would be silly as inevitably I need to make some money and I still can't envison being here during the election. Although it would be easier now that there are several people here whose company I enjoy and who are actually willing to go out. But, it isn't like there is constant socialization during the week. While I have really enjoyed having a host family, I don't think I would want to have one again for such a long time. I really would rather live in volunteer housing with all the volunteers. I think that would be much less lonely. I really value community more than just about anything else and since we can't really walk at night in Arusha and since we have dinner retardedly late it is nearly impossible to see people every day and I think that I really need that - otherwise I start to get a little crazy. I think there are some programs in Thailand and elsewhere though where they would pay me to teach adults and they have cooperative housing so that might be promising for the future.
The hostel community here is really hit or miss. I am staying in an actual hotel which makes me sad, I thought they had dorm rooms which yield more meeting of people. Since it is more Muslim here though, dorms may be less common unless they are all female... I will probably head to Zanzibar tomorrow unless I can find some interesting people who have interesting things to do in Dar.
I have almost removed all of my braids. That is the cause which I dedicated my 10 hour bus ride to today. I planned on reading, but just watched out the window undid vast quantities of knotted hair, and listened to music. I really just want to re-emphasize just how fucking awesome Paul Simon is. He is fucking amazing.
I miss dancing. I mean, I can dance here like drunken whore at a carnival thanks to Vlad the 2$ vodka of champions, but I miss skilled dancing... Dancing that doesn't require me to rip yet another foreign man's hand off my gyrating ass every 10 seconds. But really, I will take what I can get... I mean a few nights ago they even played a Cecilia remix in Njiro and if that doesn't quell my desire to dance then nothing will regardless of how my dignity may suffer when videos come out later. This shit could go in National Geographic.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Travel Plans Confirmed
I will leave for zanzibar, dar, and tanga monday to travel for a week and to spend some time with the vervet monkeys, return to Arusha around the 20th or 22nd, take the bus back to dar on the 26th to fly out at 2pm on the 27th (overnight again in doha....hooray for pimp hotels and free food!) arriving at JFK in NYC around 4pm on October 28th. I will probably take a bus to Columbus Ohio on the 29th or 30th with alisha to help campaign for obama. Anyone want to come? Can anyone get me a downloadable video of the debates? It has been a while...maybe the first one is available? It has to be a download though so I can put it on my memory stick and watch it at home. No more than 3.5 gigs ideally....
Friday, October 10, 2008
Debate: All Tanzanian citizens should be legally required to test yearly for HIV/AIDS
Today we debated the topic "All Tanzanian citizens should be legally required to test yearly for HIV/AIDS". I figured that this could successfully pit societal health against potential discrimination with the added benefit of talking more about AIDS. It was probably the best debate that we have had and I have a good portion of it on video. However, nothing had prepared me for the complete and utter shock of having several students openly state that they would never ever get themselves tested and they would rather just spread HIV around since they had it given to them and they don't want to die alone. Most of them don't know about anti-retro-virals and they also don't believe that condoms offer any protection against HIV - they are apparently only to prevent pregnancy and therefore totally useless. Several students also suggested that it is better to not be tested because if you found out that you were HIV positive "you might die of pressure" (anxiety and fear). I almost hemorrhaged, but stifled my horror and gave them a lengthy and persistent lecture afterwards about the value of NOT GIVING OTHER PEOPLE AIDS. I might have also been a bit confrontational using statements like, "So are you afraid to be tested? Ah, I see...so since I have been tested for HIV does that make me more of a man than you?" and "So according to your morality is it ok to murder people?" These methods work surprisingly well here. I just can't explain how overwhelming this can be sometimes though. I guess it is good that they are so open about their ignorance - it makes it easier to teach them, but jesus christ...where do you start?
I have a few more posts coming from last night's dancing adventure, but this is all I can crap out right now.
I anticipate returning to JFK in NYC around 4pm on October 28th - I will be paying for the date change tomorrow morning and that will be my ticket if all goes well. I may be leaving for Zanzibar as early as Sunday.
I have a few more posts coming from last night's dancing adventure, but this is all I can crap out right now.
I anticipate returning to JFK in NYC around 4pm on October 28th - I will be paying for the date change tomorrow morning and that will be my ticket if all goes well. I may be leaving for Zanzibar as early as Sunday.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
On poo...
I suppose that the most disconcerting thing about squat toilets is the echo-chamber effect. Given the remarkable irregularities of the bowels from travelling, I have often wondered if the world was exploding beneath me and then it occurs to me that is just this weeks well of excrement splurting forth at recockulous high speeds. give me an irregular diet and I could fuel a rocket launcher.
I like t think that mimicking the sounds of nearby wildlife will mask the shame of my festering bowels, but I think it might just be getting me a bad reputation with the locals. They won't let me play with the goats anymore.
I typed up a glorious two-dollar vodka manifesto last night but unfortunately, due to the absence of my memory stick you will have to wait for that until Saturday.
I like t think that mimicking the sounds of nearby wildlife will mask the shame of my festering bowels, but I think it might just be getting me a bad reputation with the locals. They won't let me play with the goats anymore.
I typed up a glorious two-dollar vodka manifesto last night but unfortunately, due to the absence of my memory stick you will have to wait for that until Saturday.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
School etc...
School was a bit better today. I taught all three classes, however many of the low level students just stare at me and then promptly misunderstand the entire exercise. Does anyone know about Teaching English as a Foreign Language in NYC? I was wondering if any programs will give you an MA simultaneously for working for the public. Public schools do it, but I will not work with children. Maybe there is a deal?
I am planning on hitting up Zanzibar soon... maybe Sunday taking a bus to Dar depending on when my flight gets confirmed. I am looking at the 27th, 28th, 29th of October. Have I said that before? Anyway...still waiting on confirmation.
I am planning on hitting up Zanzibar soon... maybe Sunday taking a bus to Dar depending on when my flight gets confirmed. I am looking at the 27th, 28th, 29th of October. Have I said that before? Anyway...still waiting on confirmation.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Thoughts on teaching, annoyances, travel plans, and Chickens
Today Samuel (the other teacher I work with) offered such insightful commentary on my life as to note, "Today madam you are not wearing your spectacles." (I haven't worn them for over a month now). Earlier he also said, "Today, madam I think you are not so tired as you were yesterday." me: "I wasn't tired yesterday." Samuel: "No no, I can see it in you from my studies of you here, you are much better today than yesterday." I know that he is well intentioned (he is also VERY naive), but his interest in continually making conversation with me through constantly commenting on my activities and state of being makes me want to wring his neck sometimes. He is constantly saying things like, "today I have seen something new!" in reference to some random thing in my backpack. This really chaps my ass. I should note that Samuel is at least 25 and other teachers and students I work with do not behave this way. It is really just him.
I really like my students, but I think that I would be much happier if the classes were really mine. Today I taught a really good class on past and past continuous tenses for the first class of the day. Then I didn't have my second period class because a few weeks ago they rescheduled that group because they are getting pre-form one students now. (14 year olds preparing for all English instruction in Form one). They don't speak enough English so Masha teaches all of them. Then I discovered that in the week that i was away helping run the volunteer project Masha apparently consolidated the 3rd class and was teaching pre-form ones in the room where my lesson was still waiting on the blackboard form my advanced 3rd class. So in other words, no one told me that the class was essentially canceled and moved in with the intermediates and I wasn't needed to teach the class.
I could have taught from what Samuel had on the board, but teaching someone else's lesson is really difficult when you don't believe that what they are teaching is that important and most of it could be covered in 10 minutes for a 2 hour class. So here I am at the internet. I was quite disappointed really because I don't have much time left before I leave and the one thing that I wanted to successfully do was teach my students tenses. It is their biggest problem and for some reason, Masha keeps teaching them things like the difference between many and much which is easy to learn, but not nearly as essential when they make sentences all the time like, "I going to working now". In other words, we have a vast difference in priorities...
To be fair, I cannot expect them to consider me in everything that they do because for them to rely on unpaid volunteers who come and go for such short intervals would only jeopardize the school because it would be constantly unstable. But given that I have been considering coming home pretty soon for the election it does make clear to me that I am useful, but not critically needed and they will go on without me. The best thing that I can do is connect them with resources in the long run anyway.
2 months here is not a long time, but it has given me the opportunity to do something different and try teaching English as a foreign language. I do like it (as long as I only teach adults) and maybe this will help me find work in NYC or abroad doing the same thing. I will look in to getting TEFL certified in NYC.
Today I requested a return flight to NYC for the 27th, 28th, and 29th of October. My first choice is October 27th. I may be flying in and then the next day busing it to Ohio to help out Obama. But we will see what happens with my flight availability.
In the time that I have left I plan on engaging in project Chicken. This is a project of my creation wherein I will purchase live chickens from the market and give them to random Tanzanians. How much is a live Chicken do you ask? about 6$. And I get to carry a chicken.
I really like my students, but I think that I would be much happier if the classes were really mine. Today I taught a really good class on past and past continuous tenses for the first class of the day. Then I didn't have my second period class because a few weeks ago they rescheduled that group because they are getting pre-form one students now. (14 year olds preparing for all English instruction in Form one). They don't speak enough English so Masha teaches all of them. Then I discovered that in the week that i was away helping run the volunteer project Masha apparently consolidated the 3rd class and was teaching pre-form ones in the room where my lesson was still waiting on the blackboard form my advanced 3rd class. So in other words, no one told me that the class was essentially canceled and moved in with the intermediates and I wasn't needed to teach the class.
I could have taught from what Samuel had on the board, but teaching someone else's lesson is really difficult when you don't believe that what they are teaching is that important and most of it could be covered in 10 minutes for a 2 hour class. So here I am at the internet. I was quite disappointed really because I don't have much time left before I leave and the one thing that I wanted to successfully do was teach my students tenses. It is their biggest problem and for some reason, Masha keeps teaching them things like the difference between many and much which is easy to learn, but not nearly as essential when they make sentences all the time like, "I going to working now". In other words, we have a vast difference in priorities...
To be fair, I cannot expect them to consider me in everything that they do because for them to rely on unpaid volunteers who come and go for such short intervals would only jeopardize the school because it would be constantly unstable. But given that I have been considering coming home pretty soon for the election it does make clear to me that I am useful, but not critically needed and they will go on without me. The best thing that I can do is connect them with resources in the long run anyway.
2 months here is not a long time, but it has given me the opportunity to do something different and try teaching English as a foreign language. I do like it (as long as I only teach adults) and maybe this will help me find work in NYC or abroad doing the same thing. I will look in to getting TEFL certified in NYC.
Today I requested a return flight to NYC for the 27th, 28th, and 29th of October. My first choice is October 27th. I may be flying in and then the next day busing it to Ohio to help out Obama. But we will see what happens with my flight availability.
In the time that I have left I plan on engaging in project Chicken. This is a project of my creation wherein I will purchase live chickens from the market and give them to random Tanzanians. How much is a live Chicken do you ask? about 6$. And I get to carry a chicken.
Monday, October 6, 2008
I am Jack's burning betrayal
For the past few days I have been going from house to house with Aggrey making sure that all the host families get paid before Aggrey ultimately gets the hatchet. End result: a growing empathy for the vastly ineffective defect in the local organization. However, might I say, he has reasons for being defective as I discerned from the stories he told me when we were walking. Apparently, he went to seminary in Arusha, was moved to Kampala in Uganda, and then did missionary work in the Congo. He liked the Congo just fine apparently (I was like WOW the Congo? People can live there?? Thanks American school system!). Then he told me he was moved to Darfur for 6 months. (HOLY SHIT). He lasted for 2 months and ultimately left seminary as many of his friends died in that time. Now he is here and about to get fired. Anyway... I know he isn't helping the organization, but I feel really bad for him.
Anyway, back to teaching.
Anyway, back to teaching.
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Chameleon!
In our rounds to pay the host families, which has gone far better today than I expected, I caught a chameleon. It is awesome and is the highlight of my day. I have it in a white oat container sitting next to me at the internet cafe/restaurant right now. We had a close call earlier when a woman asked me if it was a donation can and reached out for it. When I told her it was a chameleon she screamed. My chameleon is awesome. I will let him go after I get appropriate photo opportunities.... I want a picture of him on my FACE.
Friday, October 3, 2008
What the hell am I doing?
As I mentioned earlier, last week I was hired by IVHQ to work until October 15 to help fix some problems and integrate new volunteers. So here is what I have been doing:
Wednesday:
-ran orientation for new volunteers
-did excessive 10k + walking tour of Arusha for the hard core
-received an awesome new roommate who will only be here for a week - an aussie who lives in Dubai (the more she tells me the more that I don't believe Dubai exists and furthermore am actively shocked that anyone would ever ever want to live there)
Thursday:
This requires more detail. Dealing with Aggrey is kind of like entering into a vacuum of negative information. Words cannot convey the amazing powers of confusion that this man has mastered. I will try to explain what happened.
The objective was to gather together several different orphanage volunteers and take them to their projects on the first day. I think he changed his mind 3 or 4 times on where volunteers were going to be placed without informing me or them before we arrived. He told me he was taking joanne to her orphanage (which was closed due to Ede) so he could show her where it was then we would all meet together to go to another orphanage for 2 other volunteers, then we would take Joanne and one other volunteer to another orphanage just for today that was open on Ede. While he did this I was supposed to go and take the other volunteers to Mwanama where i work because their orphanage is nearby. We were told to wait there for him and he and Joanne would return and then we would deliver other volunteers. He returned without Joanne - apparently he just took her to a totally different place without consulting anyone. Joanne later related to me that he had called the orphanage when they were waiting for the dallas dallas to see if it was ok that he bring her. Then we took the other volunteers to the Nun run orphanage. (this must have also changed since originally they were going to be at an HIV orphanage). I have no idea why things kept changing, but this is really just a sample.... i wont go further with this explanation because you would really have to be there, but ultimately working with Aggrey is like placing your head in a toilet that is filled with chaos and flushing it repeatedly. This is the man that I have to work with to make sure that all the host families are paid. I am going to have a mental abortion.
-Later on in the day I visited with the new organization that will be taking over for LIVE. They seemed pretty decent.
-I attended a volunteer dinner - the first one with all volunteers gotten together since I have been here - awesome, finally a growing sense of community right before I will leave.
I really want to want to stay longer and to not feel a need to be involved in the election, but really I am getting tired and I don't know what would be gained by drawing things out more when I am moving to NYC when I return and could keep some money to travel elsewhere earlier. I have learned a lot since I have been here, but you can't really resurrect a program this late in the game for those who have been here as long as I have. I am invested in helping them fix the program now, but it is really disappointing that it is going to improve through my labors and I will not see any benefit from it.
Friday (today):
-Took 3 girls to their orphanage projects
-I saw a guy carrying a steer's head in a bucket. AWESOME
-went to my teaching project for the first time this week. (it was a holiday week anyway)
-was told by my students that I should never leave and they will be so sad when I leave because I am not replaceable. I really like them. I will be working more next week. It will be hardest to leave my students. I am trying to get someone who can replace me before I go.
My current plans are developing as follows with vast room for flexibility as no flights or buses are booked:
Leave for Zanzibar on October 14th or so (10 hour bus ride of pain plus fairy), somehow go to Tanga and Dar, return to Arusha (another 10 hour awesome ride) on maybe the 23rd or 24th of October to make sure the books have arrived and also retrieve my crap, depart once more for Dar es Salaam to fly back to NYC between the 26th and 29th of October. Go to nearby swing state. Work until it is over.
Wednesday:
-ran orientation for new volunteers
-did excessive 10k + walking tour of Arusha for the hard core
-received an awesome new roommate who will only be here for a week - an aussie who lives in Dubai (the more she tells me the more that I don't believe Dubai exists and furthermore am actively shocked that anyone would ever ever want to live there)
Thursday:
This requires more detail. Dealing with Aggrey is kind of like entering into a vacuum of negative information. Words cannot convey the amazing powers of confusion that this man has mastered. I will try to explain what happened.
The objective was to gather together several different orphanage volunteers and take them to their projects on the first day. I think he changed his mind 3 or 4 times on where volunteers were going to be placed without informing me or them before we arrived. He told me he was taking joanne to her orphanage (which was closed due to Ede) so he could show her where it was then we would all meet together to go to another orphanage for 2 other volunteers, then we would take Joanne and one other volunteer to another orphanage just for today that was open on Ede. While he did this I was supposed to go and take the other volunteers to Mwanama where i work because their orphanage is nearby. We were told to wait there for him and he and Joanne would return and then we would deliver other volunteers. He returned without Joanne - apparently he just took her to a totally different place without consulting anyone. Joanne later related to me that he had called the orphanage when they were waiting for the dallas dallas to see if it was ok that he bring her. Then we took the other volunteers to the Nun run orphanage. (this must have also changed since originally they were going to be at an HIV orphanage). I have no idea why things kept changing, but this is really just a sample.... i wont go further with this explanation because you would really have to be there, but ultimately working with Aggrey is like placing your head in a toilet that is filled with chaos and flushing it repeatedly. This is the man that I have to work with to make sure that all the host families are paid. I am going to have a mental abortion.
-Later on in the day I visited with the new organization that will be taking over for LIVE. They seemed pretty decent.
-I attended a volunteer dinner - the first one with all volunteers gotten together since I have been here - awesome, finally a growing sense of community right before I will leave.
I really want to want to stay longer and to not feel a need to be involved in the election, but really I am getting tired and I don't know what would be gained by drawing things out more when I am moving to NYC when I return and could keep some money to travel elsewhere earlier. I have learned a lot since I have been here, but you can't really resurrect a program this late in the game for those who have been here as long as I have. I am invested in helping them fix the program now, but it is really disappointing that it is going to improve through my labors and I will not see any benefit from it.
Friday (today):
-Took 3 girls to their orphanage projects
-I saw a guy carrying a steer's head in a bucket. AWESOME
-went to my teaching project for the first time this week. (it was a holiday week anyway)
-was told by my students that I should never leave and they will be so sad when I leave because I am not replaceable. I really like them. I will be working more next week. It will be hardest to leave my students. I am trying to get someone who can replace me before I go.
My current plans are developing as follows with vast room for flexibility as no flights or buses are booked:
Leave for Zanzibar on October 14th or so (10 hour bus ride of pain plus fairy), somehow go to Tanga and Dar, return to Arusha (another 10 hour awesome ride) on maybe the 23rd or 24th of October to make sure the books have arrived and also retrieve my crap, depart once more for Dar es Salaam to fly back to NYC between the 26th and 29th of October. Go to nearby swing state. Work until it is over.
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